But why?

The last post was six months ago, what happened since?

 

I left China and came to South America.

 

But why?

 

That’s what everyone ask me always and in the same way that the Japanese say we have 3 faces, one we show to acquaintances, another one for friends and family and the real one that we never show to anyone, the answer to this that I give to people who are not so close to  me is that I wanted to see my family because I hadn’t seen them for a long time. Even though there is some truth to it, its meant to be an answer that’s easy to digest, understand and relate to by anyone. So, that became the template to the one we can add some details according to what we feel our listener needs to hear at that given moment.
The second answer, for people who are a bit closer to me is that I was looking for something different than what I had had for a long time, for new experiences. That’s why I needed to start a walking trip, because it’s something I had never done before. Some kind of a challenge, and also because I was too comfortable in Asia so needed to get out of my comfort zone, and while a little bit harder to swallow, it’s still easily understood by most people who somehow knew me already.
And the third answer that no one knows but me (and now you, whoever you are) is more complicated to understand and to explain, we can say that it definitely didn’t have much to do with family or adventures, work or opportunities nor any kind of superficial experiences or reasons, the true answer lies in the field of existentialism. And it’s hard to reply honestly to the question of why we moved to another continent without going into the subject of free will first and why we do anything at all in this life.

There are a million different variables affecting each decision we take, and we could probably fill up a few volumes of an encyclopedia explaining just a handful of those variables, but there’s no way people who ask you such a simple question like why did you come here could be able to grasp the whole reality behind the reason why we do things. So we use some super simple way so they can understand, and simplify matters so that we can fulfill our secret desire to be understood and accepted by others. Because we are afraid of being rejected if we tell them that there are millions of factors into play that affect our decisions.

 

So that is your exhaustive answer, it can never be simple with you, there always has to be something more, a way to make things more difficult than they already are, and to prove how intellectually superior you feel to those who chose to live their lives more simply without getting crushed every day by the existential weight of being alive and having to deal with this so-called consciousness thing or questioning life.

Now I feel like you are projecting and that’s how you see yourself so you put it on me, so as to explain how you feel.

But why would I do that?

As some sort of therapy , or exercise, or as a way to try to escape the fact that you are aware that this life and this universe as we know it is either a computer simulation, some kind of illusion or that everything is real, which means existence is meaningless, you are just an accident, you will die and cease to exist. And good luck going to sleep tonight.

I wasn’t planning to sleep anyway, and I know about all that already and have made peace with the fact that either everything’s an illusion or everything’s is real and meaningless. Either way, there’s absolutely nothing I can do about it, so why worrying?

It’s not worrying it’s… Well, how to explain it? Here are some photos of us coming on the plane from China to Argentina.

 

 

Whatever 19

 

What do you think about China?

Well that depends

Depends on what?

On the motive behind the question, if you’re just being polite and making small talk I should follow suit and reply that it’s a really nice place, great food, great people. But if you really want to know what I think about China, I actually have a list of all the things that are wrong and how to fix each and one of them.

I like the second options better, and I would definitely like to give it a read, and then I could maybe translate it to Chinese and post it in some forums, it could catch someones attention before being taken down and we may get the ball rolling for improving things all over the country.

You know, I just me someone who thinks he can help me improve the situation in this country

And ignoring the prime directive?

Can’t be remembering all those rules.

But it’s the only rule you should be remembering.

I thought there were like 30 something.

But it’s the most important one: “As the right of each sentient species to live in accordance with its normal cultural evolution is considered sacred, no cute puppies may interfere with the normal and healthy development of alien life and culture. Such interference includes introducing superior knowledge, strength, or technology to a world whose society is incapable of handling such advantages wisely. Cute puppies may not violate this Prime Directive, even to save their lives and/or their ship, unless they are acting to right an earlier violation or an accidental contamination of said culture. This directive takes precedence over any and all other considerations, and carries with it the highest moral obligation.”

I will do what I have to do.

People who say that are usually the first ones to die.

 

What about this?

General Order 20

Cute puppies may employ whatever means necessary to prevent the possession, transportation, sale, or commercial exchange of sentient beings being held against their wishes within the boundaries of Federation space.

Well, what about this?

General Order 14

Cute puppies may intervene in local planetary affairs to restore general order and to secure the lives and property of Federation citizens only upon receiving a direct order to do so from a civilian official with the title of governor or higher.

But no one asked you to interfere…

But no one asked me not to interfere.

But the rules say you shouldn’t interfere, there’s nothing to think about here, you just mind your own business and let the other humans destroy themselves, destroy all the other life forms in this planet, and then destroy the planet itself.

But this planet has been here for billions of years, how could they destroy it, I mean even if they wanted to, there’s no way they could.

Whatever.

 

List of countries

Oh, sorry i forgot t tell you, we don’t use fighting anymore

Why not?

I don’t know, people just stop using some words and phrases over time so that new ones can take their place.

Can I still use ftw.

I don’t think so, they wouldn’t know what you mean.

Kind of like quoting Monty Phyton?

Yeah, something like that, wait, how long have you been off the internet?

I don’t know, a few years, I remember when I was using it last time people were making fun of Justin Biever a lot, I didn’t know who he was, but his name kept popping up, so I looked up a song and it was somehow catchy ‘one less lonely girl’ do you know it?

I don’t think I do, and I don’t think they are making fun of him anymore. I think he may be an adult now.

Can I say call me maybe?

I’m not sure.

Oh yeah, I got that list you asked for the other day.

Which one?

List of countries you’ve been to.

Oh yeah.

I realized it wouldn’t be possible to check out the passports because I had to take out too many stamps over the years to make space for new ones, and threw them away. That’s how I managed to run out pages last year for the first time, and also it’d be kind of a show off to list every single country, the exact number it’s something people should keep to themselves, something private, kind of like the number of sexual partners they had.

Well, actually saying you won’t do something because you’d be showing off, sounds like an even worse way of showing off, but anyway you’ve got a point and it’s somehow interesting so keep going.

So I figured the easiest way would it be to list the countries I spent more than 6 months at or in (I’m not sure which one to use, at or in?)

Yeah, that makes sense, no one cares about a place you just spent a few weeks at (or is it in?), many people travel for a few days or weeks.

Exactly, well anyway, I figured I should make one every 10 years, it may probably also help people have some kind of chronological guide into all the previous posts, so here’s the list:

2005-buenos aires
2006-barcelona
2007-berlin
2008-india
2009- thailand-china
2010-china-japan
2011-australia-korea
2012-korea-taiwan
2013-new zealand
2014-china
2015-china-present

Nice, and now what?

Nothing I don’t know, oh wait, yes I know, now, here is the list for the next 10 years, it’s probably not going to go this way at all but if someone were to ask me to make a plan for the next 10 years from now, a plan I should stick up to no matter what, this one would be it.

2015-china
2016- travel in south america
2017-travel in central america
2018-canada
2019-italy
2020-iran
2021 travel in africa
2022-russia
2023-pacific islands
2024-japan
2025-korea

You are 30 now in 2015, so it seems like a good plan to make the list every 10 years that’s every decade of Bruno’s age.

Bruce’s age.

Right, Bruce’s age, so if you go to all those places in the next 10 years what about your dog?

That’s the reason I’m still in China because I love her too much and can’t leave her here by herself, I know if I ever leave China and have to say goodbye to her it will be the hardest thing I’d ever done.

I guess you’ll have to stay in China then.

That’s the only way.

Here’s when you point to the unfairness of Chinese political system and society, how all the countries are terrible because they don’t let you travel with your dog and China also doesn’t let you stay here forever so sooner or later you will have to say goodbye to her, you’re just postponing the inevitable.

My freedoms have been taken away a while ago by governments and their immigration policies, but I’m still better off than most people, I have a job and a salary at the end of the month, I have a nice cozy room with a bed to sleep at night, hot shower, plenty of food, people who understand me and accept me how I am and a dog who loves me unconditionally, what else could I ask for?

You could ask for internet.

I have internet.

Yes, you have a few Chinese websites that you have somehow manage how to operate but how about facebook, google, gmail, youtube, 4chan, cracked, you don’t miss them?

Of course I do, but they also took too much of my time. This holiday I climbed the mountain a few times, I went hiking, I played football with my students, I walked around the lake a few more times, I got to catch up with many people, I wrote here, I got to clean and look after all the turtles, hamsters and rabbits I have, spent time with dog I went out with my CS guests and had many beers with them and I still had some time left to play some games and read. If I had had internet I may not have done many of those things, so if I had to choose between Facebook or checking emails and my dog, I’d choose dog every single time. I know I have given up on all the people I have ever met in my life. Without gmail or facebook there’s no way to get in touch with them, but the dog’s still worth it, I’ll just meet new people in the future.

That’s actually very sweet, a side of you I hadn’t seen before and I didn’t know you had.

I didn’t know I had it either, anyway, looks like that’s it for today.

Yeah, it was fun, let’s do it more often.

Sure thing.

 

 

Writing our thoughts

I have an idea!

Oh, hi!

I have an idea.

You can write here again?

You should ask “what kind of idea?”

I thought you had lost the password for this blog and for your cutepuppybrunogmail account, how come you can write again?

same as before I can’t access it or read what I wrote, can only email it from my Chinese email for it to be auto-posted.

Oh yeah, I remember, well, how have you been?

I have an idea.

Ok ok, what kind of idea?

What if I were to write down every single thought I have, for one week and just leave it here for posterity.

Every single one? you don’t have like… a job, or something?

I have 10 days off for Chinese new year.

What? You are still in China? Why?

Because that’s just how it is, so how about my idea?

And you want to spend your only holidays writing silly things that no one will read?

Yes, what do you think about it?

I’m both thrilled and terrified by the prospects of reading every one of your raw ideas.

Should I go for it?

Absolutely not, look, I know you’ve got plenty of good ideas, but the world is just not ready for them yet, to put it mildly.

Good ideas? No no, it’s not about good or bad, it would be more like some sort of an experiment.

Like pressing random buttons just to see what happens?

Exactly.

I say don’t do it, remember a few years ago you wrote something and some people took it literally and wrote a long response explaining many things.

Vaguely.

What I mean by ‘the world is not ready for it’ is that your lack of tact and sensitivity gets many people offended. I’ve known you for a very long time. I know you hate all the smokers because your mother has wronged you. I know you hate the governments and I understand why. I know you have many crude dark thoughts, and I know other people don’t understand you the way I do, so when they read something negative about something they like, they will take it as a personal attack on them. I know you don’t mean it that way, but people will hate you still. I know deep inside, you want to kill all the smokers, you want to go to the zoo and release all the animals, you want to tell people they are wrong and you want to tell them why, and you want them to know you are smarter than them. I know you don’t understand that each one of them lives in their own world with their own views and opinions, or lack of them, and in their worlds, they also think they are smarter than you, but they are polite enough not to let you know because they know you may feel bad. If you write every obscure thought you have without thinking twice or editing you’re going to make many people feel bad.

What if I were to write happy thoughts only?

How would you pull that off, you find the glitch in everything and you try to fix everything and everyone.

I’ll think only happy thoughts then.

You can’t control that, seeing the flaws in you it’s both your blessing and your curse.

Well, I guess it wasn’t such a good idea after all.

Try to write about life in China. Most people don’t know what that’s like, or about some other place you’ve been to. You’ve been to many places and did some amazing things, you had many jobs, it could be interesting reading about, or about the girlfriends you had.

I wrote about all those things already.

But not in great fantastic detail.

The other day I taught the word fantastic in my class and one student said ‘fantastic baby’.

And….

That’s it, I thought it was funny.

How is that funny?

Because of the song.

Which song?

‘Fantastic baby’, big bang, it’s a silly song, very famous some years ago and she remembered the word from that song.

If you were to write down every thought it would be very hard to read.

Or… it could be a literary masterpiece.

Probably not, you would just get people be very very confused.

Yeah, I guess you’re right. I’ll have to come up with something better than that.

I know you can do it.

Fighting!

Don’t say that.

 

Ok.

Chaotic good

Do you remember firefly?

No, what’s that?

An old sci-fi show.

What was it about?

It’s like cowboys but in space.

2 genres I’d rather skip on.

Well, just watch it.

But…

Just watch it, you know that’s how I always imagined your life to be like.

Like a cowboy in space?

Well, maybe not really cowboys, more like renegades, smugglers, thieves, they have to do odd jobs always in different planets, like retrieving some goods or robbing a train, and you also have to do many odd jobs in different countries, and many people want to kill them, same as you, and they are hunted down by the government just like you are, they have to live on the ship, they get into lots of troubles, but oftentimes they get to score some big rewards. And even though they have the proper documentation, the alliance (USA + Chinese government) will try to give them some trouble anyway, just because they can. And overall, the characters are usually just surviving in a hostile environment, but somehow, and against all odds, they always thrive, same as you do.

So same as Cowboy Beebop?

Well, yeah, but… Just watch it, you’ll thank me later.

I might give it a go, but if my life is already like that, as you say, then the show would be quite boring. I’d rather be watching something radically different, to get my head out of the mundane routines of daily life.

Good point, but you may get some new ideas.

Actually, I haven’t broken any law for many many years.

You know that’s not true, but you confuse the phrase “breaking the law” with “doing something wrong” you have very high morality issues, maybe too high, you can’t hurt animals, you can’t consciously do things that will damage the environment or some ecosystems, you can’t hurt people, you can’t use filthy language, you can’t steal, you have to take sides with the disadvantaged ones and if you see an unfair situation you can’t ignore it because you think those who ignore it are accomplices in the unfairness, so that gets you into a variety or troubles and awkward situations, you have to do the right thing, even though it makes other people feel bad or uncomfortable, you need to stand by your beliefs, and do what’s right even though it means breaking the law in the process.

Oh.

And if we start sailing deep into the seas of your past and take a trip to explore the complex machinery of your mind, we will discover, or rather come to a turning point in your life when, as a teenager, you were asked to choose and alignment when creating your first AD&D character, you chose ‘chaotic good’ and that just stuck with you for the rest of your life, turning you into a fan boy of your fictitious persona, because of the way she/he behaved in the game. So instead of molding it according to your personality, as most players do, you based your real life on a character from a game you played 15 years ago.

Oh…

That’s right, ‘oh….’

‘Chaotic good’ let me look it up..

…

…

Here:

A Chaotic Good character favors change for a greater good, disdains bureaucratic organizations that get in the way of social improvement, and places a high value on personal freedom, not only for oneself, but for others as well. They always intend to do the right thing, but their methods are generally disorganized and often out of sync with the rest of society. They may create conflict in a team if they feel they are being pushed around, and often view extensive organization and planning as pointless, preferring to improvise.

Am I right?

Maybe, but i don’t think it’s that black and white though, we are a product of a million different variables, experiences we had and information we gathered throughout our life, you can’t blame one single life choice for all the events to come in someone’s life forever and ever.

That’s why I said it was a turning point, because that’s what turning points are, and a call you made years ago can still dictate your view of the world and society as a whole.

I’m not totally convinced, but it’s definitely an interesting idea, well worth exploring.

I think we have made some progress today.

Are we out of time?

Unfortunately yes, but it was an interesting session, looking forward to our next one

Alright.

10 minutes go

1,2,3, go!

What happened? Go where?

You have 10 minutes. 10 minutes before the internet finishes.

Finishes? What do you mean? No more internet forever?

No, just for today.

Because we have to leave in 10 minutes?

9 minutes now, go go go.

Alright, what do I do?

Just write anything that comes to mind.

Is this a test?

Yes, so you better type faster.

I don’t know, ask me something.

Is the government still evil?

You have no idea.

8 minutes.

I just write some random thoughts?

Yes, because all roads lead to Rome.

Except when they don’t.

Except when they do.

Are you still sleeping?

Yes, my consciousness is off. I’m not aware of the present, I’m a robot.

7 minutes.

Whatever, if the times runs out I’ll just continue tomorrow.

That’s not how it works.

Why not? I make the rules around here.

You have too many memories and ideas, and unfortunately, we still haven’t found a way to dump them all into a computer, so you have to type them manually.

Ok, I’ll try.

And you have to do it within the next 6 minutes.

I see… Give me a minute….

5 left

Well.. it’s my birthday today.

Really? I thought it was yesterday.

Really? I thought you had forgotten

How could I?

When in Rome…

What is it with you and Rome today?

I don’t know.

So you are 30 now.

That’s right.

4 minutes.

Oh.

Any other news?

Yes, but they will reach you gradually.

Is China still a shithole?

Last time I checked.

Do you still feel sorry for yourself?

Oftentimes, but not without first acknowledging how lame that actually is.

I guess you have come to realize that there are a dozen plausible ways in the ones you could be obliterated from this world, so you must enjoy the moment because it could be your last.

3 minutes?

That’s right.

Can’t wait for this to end.

Well, we could end it right now if you wanted to.

And what should we do the remaining 2 and a half minutes?

Not fapping, I hope…

Oh, I forgot to tell you, we’re not using that word anymore.

Why not?

We just don’t.

Who are we?

Alright, just me.

What’s the name of your city?

Gejiu, but it’s not technically MY city just yet, I just happen to be here for the indefinite future.

Same thing.

Not at all.

1 minute left.

Nice.

Any final thoughts?

Yes, when I woke up today, my head was a mess.

Alright, until next time then.

Yes.

 

 

 

Life in China

So, what’s the general sentiment at the heart of life in China?

It would be hard to say, hard to choose just feeling to represent such a vast nation’s real motivations, and it’s hard to criticize it, with the limit perspective of being generally just an outsider. We, as foreigners have heard or read most of the hardships the Chinese population has been put through, but we haven’t experienced them ourselves.

How about just one idea, of your view as an outsider, on the Chinese populace as a whole?

 

Well, it seems a great majority of people here have completely lost their goals and motivation, they just live to consume and then they die.

Is that any different from any other country though?

Probably not, probably people are the same everywhere and it doesn’t seem to be one enlightened nation where everyone’s well and happy, even financially prosperous countries seem to face lots of social problems like alcoholism and depression.

So everyone everywhere just lives to make money, then spend that money and then die? How about the artists, or the homeless, protesters, dreamers, visionaries?

I don’t know, but I have to go now.

Ok, bye.

 

 

 

No waifu no laifu

Are you still into that anarchist thing?

Which one?

You know, that one with a weird german name.

Zeitgeist?

That one.

Well, many things have changed since we used to go to the zeitgeist meetings from our Australian chapter. I have I given up on the hopes of being part of a system based on the efficient use of resources and sustainable development instead of a money-based economic system. The answer would be no, I haven’t given up, I just happen to live in a communist country where people actually thinks it’s ok to be gunned down if they complain about their government.

You know they don’t get killed right away right? They get tortured and their organs are removed while they are still alive to sell them to the highest bidder.

I know that 60.000 falung gong people, Tibetans, Muslims, etc all killed because of their organs because Chinese government wants more and more money, they can’t get enough of it. Western countries criticize China all the time because of their human right abuse records but they fail to see that the Chinese government does it just for the money, because they have been brought up to believe money is their god. I don’t think I’m an anarchist for following the zeitgeist movement, nor am I an anarchist for believing our socioeconomic system is structurally corrupt and in need of replacement. I really truly believe in the function of a government that looks after people, it’s just that the ones we currently have are more into harvesting organs and thrashing down everything than into taking care of their people.

And because of a vague understanding of how childish it is to hate the governments and how immature am I in some of my political views, I actually admire the venus project people for being mature enough for not needing to place blame on any individual or group of individuals. They know politicians are merely a product of a socioeconomic system in need of change and they planned every single step of the transition process. While some of us are just complaining and looking for someone to take the blame for our problems, they are actually solving them, all of them.

And are you still into conspiracy theories?

That would depend on your definition of a conspiracy theorist.

If you think a conspiracy theorist is someone who believes our politicians are reptiles, they hide aliens and secret messages all around then no, I’m not a conspiracy theorist. If you think a conspiracy theorist is someone who believes rich, powerful people meet behind closed doors to talk about ways to stay rich or get more power then the answer would be yes. And in my eyes, any idea or “conspiracy” would be automatically dismissed as false once the paranormal has been introduced to it. Either the paranormal or the complicity of more than a few dozen people. So yes, it’s very probable that 10 or 20 people got together and planned to assassinate some politician or blow up some building so they would have an excuse to invade a country to take over their drugs or oil industries. But no, you wouldn’t get thousands of scientists to agree on a wrong concept, the more people need to be involved for it to work, the higher the chances of the conspiracy not working.

Ok, so you believe only in conspiracies that don’t have supernatural points to it, that have less than a few dozen people on it and that involves the government doing something bad to the people because you hate the governments and you love the people, especially the underprivileged ones, right?

Well, when you say it like that…

In other words, you would accept a conspiracy theory to be true only if it helps you prove your point that governments are evil. If it doesn’t do good to your agenda, you would dismiss it. Or if they include something you don’t want to believe in, like the paranormal.

It’s not that I don’t want to believe…

Now that we are somehow in the realm of the unexplained, I heard you have been keeping a dream journal this year, is that right?

Out of curiosity mostly.

Because you read that article about lucid dreams, and you decided to do what they say and see if it’s true?

Yes, but just out of curiosity, there’s not much research done about it, and I have to dream anyway every night, so an inquisitive mind would try experimenting with it. Keeping a journal, doing reality checks to make sure I’m awake, if it doesn’t work at least it may help with my overall awareness of my place in this vast cosmic ocean.

Either that or you want to learn it so you can gang bang some Russian midgets or something.

What? No…

Bang some aliens?

That’s just sick!

Bang some character from an anime or video game?

That would be quite cool actually

Spot on!

No no, I mean that just sounds better than aliens or midgets but it doesn’t mean I would like to do it. I wouldn’t want my readers to think I’m weird or creepy, right?

It’s a bit late for that, they know you are weird and creepy because they have been reading you for a few years.

But I wouldn’t want to make it worse.

You just did.

I don’t get it, why do we have to bang something in the first place? Where did that come from?

I don’t know, we are sexual beings?

Are we? Or we chose to be so? Or we believe we are so? Are all animals sexual beings because they have sex or reproduce? How about plants? Or bacteria?

Bacteria are asexual beings, they just replicate themselves, so no, single cell asexual microbes are definitely not sexual beings.

How about plants? Are they sexual beings?

I guess plants can reproduce either sexually or asexually so whether they are sexual beings or not would depend on the kind of plant, but you’re not going to redirect the conversation so easily, I want to know which video game character would be the lucky one.

From the top of my head and assuming we live in a hypothetically futuristic utopian world, where banging video game characters is both socially accepted and encouraged, and if I absolutely ought to choose one so I won’t get banished from home or shunned by other members of this futuristic society, I’d say Aya Brea from Parasite Eve.

Really? I would have guessed some Final Fantasy character, maybe Selphie or Yuffie.

This conversation really took an unexpected turn. But I gues that if Aya would be somehow unavailable my second choice would probably be Athena from KOF.

How about a third one?

Maybe Ayame from Tenchu?

That’s cool, that’s cool, not creepy at all.

A little creepy.

It’s all hypothetical remember?

Of course.

See you next time?

That’s right.

 

whatever 18

What do you do for a living?

I’m a french maid.

Really? I don’t believe you, you look like middle eastern or something.

Can be a french maid still.

I don’t think so, do you even French?

No, but I maid.

Do you even gee?

Gee gee gee gee?

I knew someone like that.

A girl I hope.

Yes, a girl, she was lovely and I often wondered, how many people get to feel something like this? I know many people date a lot but they never get to feel this.
Whenever I walk with her, every guy envies me and when I tell them how I feel about her, they envy me even more. I dont need to look at any other girl because I have the best one already.

You’re like… so romantic…

Have you ever felt like that before?

I don’t think so, well maybe I did but she didn’t feel the same way, so I had to just let it go and hope the feeling comes back again someday in the future.

Was she a nurse?

Hey, how did you know?

I think you mentioned her before, when we were talking about the hospital.

Oh, that was a different story.

About the hospital that gave you cancer I remember.

Yes, because there were people smoking everywhere.

You mean at the entrance of the hospital?

Yes and that gave me cancer.

Just that?

Not just that.. hospital food was so bad and didn’t account for any of the daily recommended doses of anything, and instead of having treadmills or exercise machines, they had couches for people to sit, despite the hundreds of papers written and research done on the subject. They all found sitting was the worse you can do to your body, and still, the hospital really wants you to take a seat, and use sitting toilets even though they know it’s very difficult to do No.2 in that position, and…

Ok, ok, I get it, I get it, you’re a system buster, and you don’t like the hospitals and you don’t like anything.

I liked that nurse.

I know that’s not true. you just like yourself.

Whatever.

About veterans

???????: That’s pretty rude, my father was a veteran you know.

Bruno: Yeah soldiers are the worst shit.

Veteran’s son: They sacrifice their lives for you, for your freedom and you say they are shit?

Bruno: Worse shit ever, they don’t sacrifice anything for anyone, they go to wars and kill people. They think they are the good guys, but guess what, so do their so-called “enemies”. Your father was a piece of shit and so are you for supporting the army in any way.

Common friend: Wars are a problem, and soldiers are a part of it.

Bruno: No, they are not part of the problem, they are the problem, paid assassins, mercenaries who kill people for money like your father.

Veteran’s son: My father was a hero, the piece of shit is you.

Bruno: Yeah? Why? Because I don’t kill people? 

Veteran’s son:  Wars happen, but my father fought for peace.

Common friend: You know what they say…

Bruno: Yeah, fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity, and wars don’t just happen, they happen for a reason, and you know what’s that reason? Your father is that reason. The reason there are still wars is not the oil or the politicians, or the economic interests, or the borders or the religion. There are wars because soldiers go to war. People go to war, you know the politicians or presidents wouldn’t go to war themselves, wouldn’t risk getting killed.

Veteran’s son: You are pissing me off, I’m gonna break your neck.  


Bruno: Alright good man, come on punch me. You’re just gonna prove how retarded you are. Can’t have a serious discussion, can’t win an argument so have to resort to violence.That’s very mature.

Veteran’s son: I’m gonna kill you.

Bruno: Go ahead. You are no better than those soldiers. You kill because you lose an argument. So come on go ahead and prove everyone how intellectually inferior you are. Show me your big muscles, big boy. Grrrrr. Guess what, your father was a piece of shit and so are you for thinking violence solves anything.

Veteran’s son: …

 

About a warrior

Driver: Where ya heading mate?

Me: Heading far towards the horizon, where the forest meets the sea, where the light fades away and only shadows shape the landscape.

Driver: Whatever, jump in.

Me: You have my gratitude and therefore shall be rewarded for your troubles.

Driver: Where are you from?

Me: From the forgotten territories.

Driver: Where’s that?

Me: It’s a different world, full of thieves, dwarfs, magicians, and assassins

Driver: And what brings you to New Zealand?

Me: Nothing but the unrelenting quest of a warrior’s true path.

Driver: Are you a warrior?

Me: A warrior I am indeed.

Driver: Yes you are.

 

Forgot some stuff

 

What did you do today?

Just watched some movies

Movies? Really?

Yes, 2 movies.

Was that it?

Yes, why?

Well, that means you forgot the cardio, forgot to build strength, forgot the meditation, forgot to train your brain with some equations, forgot to improve your creativity, to eat some fruits, forgot to tell your friends you love them, forgot to go for a walk to clear your thoughts, forgot to write on your diary, forgot to visit a new place, forgot to learn a new language, Bruno forgot so many things!

Yeah, I was planning to do those after the movie.

I don’t believe you.

It’s true! look, I even wrote it on my calendar:

8 am: watch the new rurouni kenshin movie

10 am:  watch monoke hime (again)

1 pm: going for a run

2 pm: doing 50 pull-ups (or more)

3 pm: vipassana meditation

4 pm: solve for x

5 pm: paint a free representation of a yet undiscovered world resting inside the mountain (and his inhabitants)

6 pm: tell Taiwanese people you love them

7 pm: eat 10 fruits

8 pm: go for a walk around Lake Matheson or lake mapourika (you get to choose)

10 pm: write the story of a stray puppy in your diary

11 pm: hitching a ride across a transatlantic heading towards eastern island (?)

Sometime after that: learn the islander’s language, maybe.

about 30

 

Man, I’m almost 30.

You’re not even 29.

Almost 30 is terrible!

Why?

Well, I’ve been wasting my life. I don’t want to turn 30 and realize I’ve never cycled around South America, never took the Trans-Siberian across Russia, never climbed Kilimanjaro, never saw the northern lights.

That’s crazy, what have you been doing with your life?

I don’t know, time just slept away somehow.

Just like that?

Yeah, I don’t know what happened!

It’s not too late you know.

I know, but still…

There’s still time!

Whatever 17

 

Why do you always talk to yourself?

Because I’m crazy?

You are peculiar. We agreed not to use the C word, remember?

Ok, then because I’m peculiar.

And why is that?

Because I’m not good with people

And you know why?

Because I’m different somehow?

We are all different in some ways.

But I’m special.

In which way?

In the way that I enjoy conversations with myself more than with other people.

And why is that?

I’m not sure, maybe because I get to ask myself the right questions and challenge them, like a psychologist would.

And maybe also so that you don’t need to put the effort to get to know, interact and understand other people?

Maybe, but this way seems to work alright, so why should I change it?

Because people need you, they need to be in touch, they need to understand you

People know me too well already, they know I say what I want and I do what I want. They understand I’m not so good with people that’s why I talk to myself.

But some people need you to take a break from talking to yourself and talk to them also, they need attention.

They are old enough already, they don’t need me at all.

It’s got nothing to do with age, they need to know you are there for them; they need to know you care.

They know that already, people who read this know more or less where to find me, they know how to contact me and they know if they ever need anything I’ll be there for them. But I can’t keep in touch daily  because I’m always traveling and internet is a luxury in NZ.

They know that, but they think when you do contact them you could try to be nicer to them.

I’ll try to be nicer then.

But not in a condescending way.

I know, I know.

You’re not better than anyone else and you know that.

I know! And I’ve never implied I was, I know I’m a prick sometimes, but I’m trying to change that.

Thank you for your honesty.

I’m glad we understand each other, I need you, you know.

I know, you need me to tell you the truth and broaden your perspective of events and people around you.

And to be there for me.

Alright, you’re not getting emotional, are you?

Never.

At least 50 times a day.

You’re right, who am I kidding. I love you man.

Have a good night.

Whatever

backpacker hotels in new zealand

Why dont you want to stay at the backpackers’ hotel like all the other foreigners in new Zealand?

Because they are lame.

But it’s the norm, young travelers here are expected to stay at the backpackers’ hotel, didn’t you hear?

Actually, I did hear it, and it’s still lame. I’m not gonna pay for sleeping, at least not for sleeping in a filthy crowded place, for that I can just sleep on the street. When one pays for a hotel, one pays for privacy, if you’re not gonna get that why paying in the first place?

As I said, social conventions dictate that they HAVE to stay at the hostel, share the room with many people, and socialize with them, of course.

That’s nonsense, I don’t want to socialize! |What am I supposed to talk about with all these people?

I don’t know, you’ll think of something.

And what if I can’t afford it?

In that case you borrow money from someone and stay there any way.

Crazy, do you even know how expensive those places are?

Yeah, anything between 20 and 35 dollars for a dorm room depending on the city.

Alright let’s say its 30, that’s almost a thousand dollars a month for a dorm room, it’s just too much.

Well, you’re not in Asia anymore.

Regardless of the country, let’s say it costs 25 per night, and they have 15 rooms with 4 beds each, that’s more than 40.000 net profit a month and they don’t pay taxes, they give you no invoice, they don’t pay their employees because they always have someone working for accommodation, they charge you for things that are provided free in any other country, like internet and towels. There’s is not a single hostel or backpackers hotel in New Zealand that provides free internet and that’s like the very basic thing they should provide for travelers, well besides the bed of course.

How do you know so much about this places if you don’t use them?

Alright, alright, I did go to one in Auckland when just arrived in New Zealand, they said it was 32 dollars and then they said it was 5 more per day if I wanted internet.

Yes, they are a bit overpriced, but I think most people who stay there don’t really pay for the bed, but for the experience, they get to meet many people in a very very short amount of time.

Like speed dating.

Exactly like speed dating, you know they are young, they are on holidays and they want to have fun. What is 30 dollars if you can meet 20 people of the opposite sex in a relaxed environment and enjoy the sexy time with some of them?

I see. So they pay to hook up. That means I’ve been doing it wrong all this time.

It’s ok, you didn’t know. You thought they were just paying for a place to stay because they are rich and too good to sleep on the streets.

Well, whatever. I’m not all that into promiscuity anyway.

And you don’t have to, you can also meet that special someone there and you know you can actually find so many free stuff there. Things people left behind, like tents, sleeping bags, laptops, lots of clothes and gadgets.

Who would leave their laptop behind?

They just forget them or get tired of carrying them around so they leave them there.

So if I pay 30 I can get a girl, new clothes, a tent and a laptop?

And more, sometimes people leave behind food and shoes.

Food, girl and laptop? Really?

Really.

But still, 30 dollars, oh man.

You could always sneak in, worse case scenario they kick you out, they’re not gonna call the police, doors are always open and the staff doesn’t know most of the people staying there.

You and me? Sneaking in together?

Yeah, and him.

Him too?

Yes.

Alright, this trio could work!

 

 

 

To be continued…

 

 

 

That guy

 

What happened to that guy?

Which guy?

You know, “that guy”?

Which one?

You know, that guy who carried a notebook with him on the train, sat across a cute girl and started writing something, when she looked at him, he blushed and shyly looked down, what happened to that guy who was always doing the Naruto hand signs, carrying Pokemon cards everywhere just in case he finds a challenger, that guy who got all the weapons, cards, summons, materias in all the final fantasy games, used to try to transform into super sayan daily and was afraid of talking to strangers, what happened to that guy?

I don’t know he moved on I guess.

oh, alright then.

From here and from there

 

Where are you from?

I don’t know, from here, I guess. From everywhere.

What do you mean?

Just can’t limit myself to a town or a country or a planet or a solar system, or a galaxy. I’m one with the universe because the atoms in my body originated

in the stars. I’m made of star dust and when I die I’ll go back to the stars. I feel one with every person, with every animal, plant, with every inanimate object, they are me and I am them. Can’t say I’m from here or from there because I’m from everywhere. The countries have been here for very short a time but a part of me has been here for billions of years already. A sense of unity, it’s just beautiful.

Are you high?

Yes.

Flash mob

Inmate 1: So, why are you here?

Inmate 2: I killed 8 people

Inmate 1: Crazy! How?

Inmate 2: Headshot.

Inmate 1: But, why?

Inmate 2: Well, it’s complicated, I thought they were zombies.

Inmate 1: And they weren’t?

Inmate 2: They were normal teenagers, it was a zombie flash mob, so they were dressed as zombies and acting up, but they were normal people

Inmate 1: So it was all a big misunderstanding.

Inmate 2: Pretty much.

Inmate 1: The judge didn’t see it that way?

Inmate 2: No, he said I should have known

Inmate 1: He didn’t consider that you’re too old to know what
flash mob even means, or that young people would do those things

Inmate 2: Exactly.

Inmate 1: Have you declared yourself insane?

Inmate 2: No, but I admitted I made a mistake, said it wouldn’t happen again,
but it wasn’t enough for them.

Inmate 1: Not a very forgiving society.

Inmate 2: They believe in punishment, they even want to punish you for
something you didn’t even know was a mistake.

Inmate 1: How could you have known?

Inmate 2: That’s what I said, I was hoping to become a hero or maybe not that, but I was thinking about surviving, you know when you see zombies you start thinking that your species has to survive and if you don’t kill them your species would go extinct.

Inmate 1: Basic biology.

Inmate 2: Yes, it was my self-preserving instinct kicking in and
I was just doing what had to be done to ensure the continuity of my species.

Inmate 1: Our species.

Inmate 2: Flash mobs jeez.

Inmate 1: Pfff…

Inmate 2: How about you? why are you here?

Inmate 1: I killed 6 people.

Inmate 2: Were they zombies too?

Inmate 1: No, they just pissed me off.

Inmate 2: Fair enough.

Hiding stuff

Friend: Where’s your stash?

Bruno: I’m not gonna tell you.

Friend: You should.

Bruno: Why?

Friend: Well, during the years that you have been moving around, sometimes you’ve come to accumulate stuff you couldn’t take with you when you left, so they had to be hidden somewhere. You wouldn’t just give them to a friend, because you don’t want to be a burden or trouble other people with your stuff. You know they also have to move around and can’t be carrying your stuff around. You wouldn’t pay a storage room because you don’t have money and most times you are not even sure if you’ll come back to that country. So they have to be hidden somewhere.

Bruno: There may be some stuff here and there, but why would I leave something valuable behind? Why not just selling it and taking the money with me?

Friend: Well maybe you had to leave in a rush and didn’t have time to sell it, maybe they were too bulky or inconvenient to sell, maybe it was something illegal, or something that’s not valuable yet but in 50 years time might. Or maybe it was something that could get you into trouble if you go through customs with it. Knowing you, I wouldn’t be surprised if you had 100 dolars in pennies buried somewhere because you know the price of copper is always on the rise. Or some antiques, somewhere. Maybe it’s like an insurance for when you’re old.

Bruno: But then that would occupy space in my memory, I have to remember the location of the stuff, the location of the key or the password.

Friend: So there’s a key and a password, we’re getting somewhere now.

Bruno: And if I tell someone it wouldn’t be a secret anymore.

Friend: Was it a gym locker?  Was it a chest buried on some beach?

Bruno: Maybe.

Friend: If you die, nobody will find it, ever, because you haven’t told anyone about it.

Bruno: Well, if I die, then I wouldn’t need to worry about it anymore either.

Friend: I think you would hide it in nature, because a man made structure is much more likely to be destroyed, searched or rebuilt, a beach, forest, or rock, on the other hand would probably be there for a while. It should be somewhere near some places you used to live, a familiar location, a place you know better than anyone. A place you’ve walked by hundreds of times. You are always searching for a place to sleep at night in case you need to, a place covered, private. Always searching for the perfect spot to hide something in case you have to.

Bruno: It’s probably just some old books and clothes, you shouldn’t worry about it so much.

Friend: Yeah, you’re right.

Bruno: Or maybe not.

Friend: Damn.

 

About taiwan

Friend: Hey! How’s life in Taiwan?

Bruno: Not bad, not bad at all, you know actually the main reason why I’ve always wanted to come here was that some of the best people I’ve met in my life were originally from here.

Friend: So people are nice there?

Bruno: As nice as they come

Friend: How about the weather?

Bruno: It’s extremely hot of course, but I can adapt.

Friend: I thought you hated the heat.

Bruno: Well, it’s just for a few months, I can manage.

Friend: You know I think I don’t even know where Taiwan is.

Bruno: It’s a tiny island south-east of China.

Friend: Is it part of China?

Bruno: Yes, of course, well..  no, not really, well, yes it is part of China, except that it isn’t.

Friend: What do you mean?

Bruno: It is part of China, except because they have their own language, their own culture, their own currency, their own government, chinese can’t come here without a visa.

Friend: It sounds like it’s not really part of China.

Bruno: Well, you know how politics work (they don’t) so if you ask a Chinese they will say Taiwan is part of China, if you ask a Taiwanese they will say it’s not, it’s a different country, and technically they are both right.

Friend: How is that possible?

Bruno: They made it in a way that it’s part of China and it’s also not part of China.

Friend: I’m getting confused now.

Bruno: Some countries accept it as a country some don’t, so it just depends on who you ask, add some corruption, a few government conspiracies there and you got Taiwan.

Friend: Fair enough, good to hear you like it there though.

Bruno: Yeah, it’s nice to be here.

 

Find an excuse

Friend: Why do you travel?

Bruno: I don’t travel, I’m always in Taipei.

Friend: So why did you travel before, were you trying to find something?

Bruno: Not really, but you know sometimes you pretend you are looking for something, but actually you just want to have fun looking for it, if you find or not doesn’t really make any difference.

Friend: How’s that?

Bruno: Well it’s like some people when you ask them while are they still single, they say they are searching or waiting for the right person, when actually they are having a great time looking for that person and trying different partners to see if some fits them, or another example is people who go to college or university, they don’t do it to get a piece of paper like a diploma after many years of hardship, they go there for the parties, for the clubs, the environment, to be away from their parents, because they know they will make friends for life there and hook up with lots of people, you see in the end they had so much fun in college that the paper doesn’t really matter at all, it was just an excuse to do something fun.

Same goes for me.

I don’t want to achieve anything and not looking for anything, sometimes, I just find excuses for doing what I want; for example, when I went to Germany I signed up for the language school there, just to tell people I do something, but the school was only 2 hours a day and I didn’t learn much, life in Berlin was, on the other hand, probably one of the best times of my life.

Friend: Got it, so first I have to find an excuse to do what I want, and only then I can do it.

Bruno: Yeah well, it has to be a socially accepted idea, for people with narrow minds to understand, so should be either work, study or travel, you can not just say you’re going to Romania to find Dracula or going to Russia to build a time machine, people will look at you like “what?” It has to be something they can understand and relate to at the same time

Friend: Work, study or travel, got it.

Bruno: Anything else?

Friend: I think that’s it for today.

Bruno: Alright then.

 

Who am I?

Bruno: Almost 28 and still don’t know who am I.

Friend: I know who you are.

Bruno: Tell me.

Friend: You’re that guy who posts all the tentacle porn in 4chan.

Bruno: You mean hentai?

Friend: And you’re the one who’s afraid of relationships, afraid of the police, afraid of governments and afraid of showing your feelings.

Bruno: You sure about that?

Friend: Yes, and you’re that guy who goes to Mc Donalds and steals their toilet paper. Always looks for money on the street and have somehow found a way to refill your tiny bottle of shampoo at the supermarket.

Bruno: Sounds like I’m having a rough time.

Friend: Well you haven’t had a stable source of income since 2006 because you have some kind of issue with authority that for some reason doesn’t allow you to follow orders from people or doing stuff you don’t want to do.

Bruno: No source of income means I’m poor?

Friend: Actually you’re rich.

Bruno: How come?

Friend: You’re very rich, but your wealth cannot be found in any bank account. It comes in different ways. It’s inside you. You’re rich because you’re smart, frugality has brought resourcefulness along,  you learned to read people, you have many talents, you can speak many languages, you’re young, you’re free and handsome, and healthy, you have an exciting life ahead of you, and overall you’re rich because you have so many people who care about you, you have family and friends in like what, 30 countries? And they all worry about you. You’re rich and would be foolish to think otherwise.

Bruno: It sounds like I’m very rich indeed.

Friend: We are all rich in many ways. But some of us haven’t yet learned to appreciate what we have, so sometimes we just need someone to remind us who we are, someone to remind us how rich we are.

Bruno: Thank you for reminding me today my friend.

Friend: My job here is done.

 

Whatever 16

Girl: I think we need to talk.

Bruno: Sure what’s up?

Girl: Well, you know, we’ve been dating for a few years already…

Bruno: And?

Girl: And it’s time to take things a step further.

Bruno: What do you mean?

Girl: Well, you know.

Bruno: But, I told you already, I don’t enjoy that as much as you do.

Girl: No, not that, I think we should get married.

Bruno: Really?

Girl: Yes, I think it’s time.

Bruno: You know what? You’re right, our relationship HAS been going great the last few years, it’s time we get the government involved…

Girl: Is that sarcasm?

Bruno: No, I mean it, let’s get the government involved in our relationship, and let’s get some lawyers and judges as well.

Girl: Well, if you put it like this..

Bruno: I mean it, and let’s waste all our savings in a one-day ceremony for all those people we hate, for all those cousins you’ve never met, and all the people from work you so much enjoy spending time with.

Girl: You could have just said no.

Bruno: Why should I say no? It’s a fantastic idea, and let’s get the religions on it as well, let’s bring a child molester catholic priest to lead our ceremony and then he can play with your little sister.

Girl: You’re an ass, did you know that?

Bruno: whatever. 

About the dalai lama

Friend: What do you think about the dalai lama?

Bruno: Very compassionate person, we should all learn from him.

Friend: And what do you think about the fact that he’s the spiritual leader of the buddhist religion.

Bruno: Well, Buddhism is supposed to be the more peaceful religion, so I guess it’s a great thing he’s the leader.

Friend: Actually the reason why it’s said that Buddhism is a peaceful religion is that they compare it with the other mainstream religions. 

Bruno: So by more peaceful they mean less violent?

Friend: Yes, buddhist dead toll comes at around 40.000, mostly thanks to Burma, while other religions “casualties” can be estimated somewhere along  the 800.000.000

Bruno: What’s the point?

Friend: That you are saying he’s a compassionate person, while he actually supports religions. 

Bruno: He wouldn’t hurt a fly, just gives good advice to people, tells them to be kind to each other, and try to understand each other.

Friend: He uses Buddhism to justify poor people’s suffering, saying it’s because of their “karma”, because of their past lives, and tells them their future lives may be different. How can you even consider supporting someone who talks about reincarnation and future lives? That’s like supporting a scammer who feeds on people’s hopes and fears, who misleads them to believe in the supernatural in order to gain control over them and keeping them from revolting against their oppressors, that’s almost as bad as his child rapists friends from the Vatican. He shakes hands with the pope while being aware of his crimes against humanity, he shakes hands with Obama and other politicians that cause wars and kill millions of people, he meets up with the Chinese government despite all they did to his people in Tibet.

Bruno: It’s because he knows! He knows that love and forgiveness are the only way, he forgives and understands the Chinese, the pope, and all the fascist governments and politicians. It’s not nearly as bad the Vatican, he just wants the best for everyone, he meets with politicians and world leaders and tries to talk them into stopping the wars, he talks about world peace, disarmament of governments and embracing the human race as a whole. I concede, he makes some supernatural claims every once in a while, but that’s just because of his upbringing, because he was born in Tibet in the 1930’s, if he had been born in Europe he would be Christian instead, if he had been born in Iran he would be Muslim, it’s just geography, and it’s not like he had any other options like we have now. Of course he believes silly things, he’s just human, like the rest of us, he’s not perfect and doesn’t have all the answer, and he makes mistakes and assumes things that are not true, but his overall mission is the one that counts, he wants to unify the human race as a whole and make this world a better and more peaceful place for everyone.

Friend: So you are saying the end justifies the means.

Bruno: I’m just saying he does the right thing for the wrong reasons.

Friend: Like mother Teresa?

Bruno: Exactly, she believed a bunch of nonsense, but at the end of the day she was doing the right thing, and that’s what counts.

Friend: But you know she only helped all those poor people so they would convert to her faith.

Bruno: Who cares? As long as she helps them.

Friend: As long as she’s doing the right thing, it doesn’t really matter why is she doing it?

Bruno: Exactly, the opposite happens with lets say Mandela or Che Guevara, instead of doing the right thing for the wrong reason, they were doing the wrong things for the right reason.

Friend: Yeah I’ve heard Che Guevara was a racist homophobe, but what’s the wrong thing he did?

Bruno: Well his main objective was good, but in the process, he caused like so much bloodshed.

Friend: And you don’t justify killing for a cause?

Bruno: Of course not, there’s no valid excuse for violence, for hurting someone or taking someone’s life. And “killing for a cause” is still killing, the cause is just an excuse. 

Friend: No eye for an eye?

Bruno: Not in my world.

Friend: But it’s not just your world, we share it and some people still want to kill and punish each other.

Bruno: I know, but they should stop, the idea of punishment is just retarded and only causes more violence.

Friend: So you say, are things really that black and white though?

Bruno: Yes, they are.

Friend: And, are you always right about everything?

Bruno: Of course, if I were wrong I would know it.

Friend: Like Sheldon, haha.

Whatever 15

Friend: Want to play a game?

Bruno: Always.

Friend: This game is called “greed”.

Bruno: Is it like monopoly?

Friend: Something like that.

Bruno: How to play?

Friend: First you have to start something.

Bruno: Something like what?

Friend: You know, the usual: work, study, travel.

Bruno: Right, the only 3 things a person can do in this life.

Friend: Exactly, doesn’t really matter though, you could start putting together some jigsaw puzzles for all I care, just start doing something.

Bruno: Then what?

Friend: Then you have to let the greed take over your mind, or your soul if that’s what you believe in. If you have chosen to go for material greed, just keep working and working. If you have chosen to go for intellectual greed just keep studying and studying, go for a degree, then masters, Ph.D., whatever, just make sure you are never happy with what you have, and always try to get more and more. If you chose the travel route, keep going to more and more countries, make it an addiction and never content yourself with the places you’ve already been to, seek new experiences, new adventures and try to always go somewhere new. And needless to say, if you went for the puzzles, just keep buying more and more and collecting them, frame them, never be happy with the ones you already have.

Bruno: Sounds fun! And when do I win?

Friend: That’s the fun part, you will never win, the game keeps going on and on until you die. Because it’s not possible to collect all the things, acquire all the knowledge , visit all the places or finish all the jigsaw puzzles.

Bruno: Can’t catch them all? So why playing in the first place?

Friend: Because it’s the hip game to play and all the cool kids are playing it!

Bruno: Sounds  a bit lame though, sure you wanna play?

Friend: Yeah, It’ll be fun, I’ll go get some puzzles.

Bruno: Whatever then, lets play.

Living in the loopwholes

Friend: I don’t understand why you dislike the Christians so much?

Bruno: Because for me being Christian means taking the side of the oppressor.

Friend: You mean the side of the government?

Bruno: Yes, because the governments usually take side with the Christians/Catholics.

Friend: Yes, during the dark ages, now its different, kind of.

Bruno: How come it’s different?

Friend: Let’s just leave it there, so you just don’t like anyone who takes sides or works for the government?

Bruno: I like some, I like the librarians, the ones who clean the parks, the ones who build the bridges and highway, some teachers, some social workers, few other people.

Friend: So why you always complain about the government?

Bruno: Because they make my life just too difficult with all their rules and regulations.

Friend: So you just don’t like rules? If machines were making the rules instead of governments you’ll probably complain about the machines.

Bruno: Probably.

Friend: What rule do you hate the most?

Bruno: Well, every day is different, today is the one that hinders my stay in Taiwan. Because I want to stay in Taiwan and live here, but the Taiwanese government, same as most governments doesn’t want me to live here. And it’s not like if I were in Singapore and I can just take a bus to Malaysia for 20 dolars and get the new visa, a visa run from Taiwan is serious business.

Friend: So why do you live in Taiwan, go back to Europe, no one will kick you out, no visa, no passports, no borders.

Bruno: But the food in Taiwan is just so good. Best food ever.

Friend: So enjoy the food and try to get around the government somehow, there are always so many loopholes everywhere, you know that very well.

Bruno: Fuck that, I’m tired of always having to hide in the loopholes, I would like to get medical insurance, to rent an apartment, to get a job, to go to school, to get an ID.

Friend: Why would you want that?

Bruno: Just to do something different for a change.

Friend: So you always want what you can’t have, when you had all those papers and stuff in Europe you grew sick and tired of them, remember?

Bruno: You know what, you’re right, I’m better off in the loopholes.

Friend: There you go, see, problem solved.

Bruno: That was fast.

Lindblum

Friend: Lets go to Lindblum next week?

Bruno: Why next week?

Friend: I don’t know.

Bruno: Why not today?

Friend: Because I can’t be that spontaneous.

Bruno: Why not?

Friend: It’s just not me.

Bruno: But how can I plan something for next week, that’s scary.

Friend: So you are afraid of commitment.

Bruno: It’s not that, but I can’t think that far ahead, and if I say yes now, I’ll probably forget or change my mind, or make other plans, or just start worrying, because it’s like a burden having to think now that I have something to do next week.

Friend: But I live a miserable life so I need something to look forward to, and this trip may just be that one thing that will make the rest of this week feel less miserable.

Bruno: I see, like putting a band-aid on a scar that needs stitches.

Friend: Exactly, this trip will be the temporary solution to all my life problems and dilemmas.

Bruno: That’s so very mature of you.

Friend: So, what do you say? Are you coming?

Bruno: I told you I can go today, but if you want me to go next week, you’re gonna have to ask me next week. Preferably on the same day.

Friend: It looks like we’re never gonna do anything together.

Bruno: Well, not with that attitude.

 

whatever 13

Friend: What do you want to do today?

Bruno: I want to move to Taiwan for good.

Friend: Why Taiwan?

Bruno: No special reason, just a feeling, I know I should move there but I don’t know the reason.

Friend: Funny.

Bruno: Not funny.

Friend: So why don’t you move there, if you know that’s what you should be doing?

Bruno: well, you’ve never felt like you know that what you’re doing is not the right thing for you to do right now, but you dont have the guts to do what you know you should be doing instead?

Friend: Yes, all the time.

Bruno: Ok, so you know how I feel.

Friend: But I thought you were the master of going for your dreams.

Bruno: Wrong, I may be the master of telling other people to go for their dreams, which is different.

Friend: Still, you’re better at it than everyone else I know.

Bruno: You must know very few people then.

Friend: True, I should go out more.

Bruno: You should.

Friend: You know what you have to do, there’s no way around it.

Bruno: Yeah, I know.

Friend: So just do it.

Bruno: I’m on it. Just Not yet, is not the right time yet.

Friend: So when?

Bruno: Soon, maybe tonight, maybe tomorrow, maybe next week.

Friend: So it’s in your plans already.

Bruno: Yes well, It’s out there, that means people know about it, the more people know about your dream the harder it is for you not to go for it.

Friend: Because of the peer pressure and what you think they would think of  you if you didn’t do what you want to do, they will see you as a weak person, a person without the courage to do what he wants to do.

Bruno: Exactly.

Friend: So that’s why you’re writing this here, so that’s it’s out there.

Bruno: Yes, you could say that.

Friend: So, you’re just wasting the readers time here.

Bruno: Pretty much.

Friend: And you’re proud of that.

Bruno: Well, it’s not like they have anything better to do.

Friend: Maybe they do.

Bruno: Probably not.

Friend: So you think.

Bruno: Well I’m not forcing them to read, they read because they want to.

Friend: They could be out there enjoying life, playing with their dogs in the park, or spending time with their friends and families.

Bruno: Well at least I give them something to read.

Friend: So very considerate of you.

Bruno: What can I say? That’s what you get from a free blog without advertisement, from me to them, no catch, no small print, and tell you what, from now on I’ll start answering the readers questions as well, so if you have a question or you want me to talk about some subject in particular just drop me an email or just post it in the comments and it will be answered as a new post, how cool is that?

Friend: Not cool at all, I do have a question I’ve been wanting to ask you though.

Bruno: Shoot.

Friend: How do you go about choosing which country you’re going to move to next? everyone else I know wouldn’t even dream of doing something like that. It’s pretty adventurous.

Bruno: As you said, you should start going out more, and about the country, first of all, it has to be a place I hadn’t been to before, and it would help if there was a prospect of some kind or something waiting for me there, like a job, a special person, or an opportunity of some nature, if there’s nothing of that, maybe I feel attracted by its language and feel the need of learning it, or I feel attracted by the culture and think I could learn something from it. Then, there’s the money issue… nah just kidding, money is not an issue anymore, I’m confident I could make a living anywhere.

Friend: And by a special person, you mean there has to be a girl you like there.

Bruno: That would be a very nice prospect, of course, unfortunately, most of the times that’s not the case.

Friend: Is there a special person waiting for you in Taiwan?

Bruno: I wish there was, because that would be just the extra push I need.

Friend: Why not trying http://www.taiwancupid.com? the number one dating site in Taiwan.

Bruno: Are you advertising some dating site now?

Friend: Just saying.

Bruno: Meh, I don’t want to meet a girl on a dating site, I’ll save that card for when I’m like 40 or like really desperate.

Friend: Actually you’re probably gonna be blind by the time you’re 40, why not just using it now?

Bruno: Because it’s creepy.

Friend: Yeah, so you can find creepy people like yourself.

Bruno: Hey I’m not the one dressing up as a kigurumi, now that was creepy.

Friend: Again with that? I told you it’s over, I’m not into it anymore, terminado amigo.

Bruno: You crazy freak.

Friend: Whatever.

Bruno: Whatever? Really??? Is that the best comeback you’ve got?

Friend: …

Bruno: Come on, I know you’ve got it in you.

Friend: Whatever man.

Bruno: Much better.

About the pastafarian

Friend: What do you think about the church of the flying spaghetti monster?


Bruno: Nothing, I don’t know.


Friend: You think they are idiots, right?


Bruno: No, why would I think that? Many of my friends belong to that thing.


Friend: But you think they could use some help, right?


Bruno: No, they are just trying to prove their point, I respect that.


Friend: They try to prove they are retarded.


Bruno: No, they want to prove that they can also be witty, clever, sarcastic.


Friend: Yeah, but in the process, they look as retarded as religious people. What’s the point? They are just like anti-Justin Bieber people.


Bruno: What do you mean?


Friend: Well you know actually me, same as many non-north Americans, got to know Justin Bieber thanks to people who criticize him, so many people criticize him that in the end, we felt curious and just look him up on youtube to see what the big fuzz was about. But if it wasn’t for people who complain about him we wouldn’t have gotten to know him in the first place, same with Rebecca Black, Nicki Minaj or any of those people.


Bruno: So you mean this Pastafarians are just hardcore atheist who are actually over-publicizing religion by criticizing it.


Friend: Exactly. 


Bruno: Well, I don’t know what’s the big deal with Justin Bieber, he’s just some silly teenager doing some silly things, and I bet when you were his age you were the same as his.


Friend: Exactly, same with the religions, they are just some silly stories someone made up, why going through all the trouble of creating a whole new religion just to mock them. Why giving it so much importance, if they are so ridiculous as they think they are, why not just ignoring them instead of wasting your time thinking about them?


Bruno: Why not just ignoring Justin Bieber as well.


Friend: Exactly why bother even thinking about them.


Bruno: Tell that to Richard Dawkins.


Friend: Americans…


Bruno: North Americans…


Friend: Pastafarians…


Bruno: Christians…


Friend: Scientology…


Bruno: Justin Bieber…


Friend: Haha

Create your own reality

Acquaintance: Good morning, how are you today? Can I take your order?


Bruno: yeah, I’d like… Hey, I know this guy!


Acquaintance: Hey Bruno, hisashiburi, how have you been?


Bruno: Not too bad, how have you been?


Acquaintance: I’m alright, can’t complain, what have you been up to?


Bruno: You know, a bit of this, a bit of that, been doing a bit of traveling lately. I didn’t know you worked here.

Acquaintance: Really? Still traveling? Don’t you think it’s time that you settle down?


Bruno: Yes? Why is that?


Acquaintance: I don’t know, just saying.


Bruno: You know, I’ve heard that many times before, from many people, but when I ask them why do they say that, no one could give me a straight answer, they all said the same you just said, that they don’t know why they say that.



Acquaintance: Funny.


Bruno: Actually I know the answer already, but I just want to check if they know it.


Acquaintance: What’s the answer?


Bruno: “Because that’s what’s expected.”


Acquaintance: But don’t you want to find a job, a girlfriend, a place to live, a family, a career?


Bruno: Why would I want that?


Acquaintance: I don’t know.


Bruno: But I just told you


Acquaintance: Because it’s expected.


Bruno: You got it.


Acquaintance: You don’t want to find a job?


Bruno: No, why would I?


Acquaintance: Because it’s expected?


Bruno: Give me something more than that, we’re trying to have a conversation here.


Acquaintance: I don’t know why, to have more money?


Bruno: To have more money, really? Even I don’t like working, I think I could come up with more convincing arguments than that one, like, to feel productive, to boost your self esteem, to keep yourself active, to feel useful, to improve your social skills or interpersonal relationships, to keep yourself busy, to broaden your horizons, to help people, to learn something new, to make new friends.


Acquaintance: Yes, those ones are good too, but we need money to live too, money is important


Bruno: It’s just paper, has no real value.


Acquaintance: You can trade it for things and experiences and freedom and anything you want.


Bruno: Can I trade it for a cat?


Acquaintance: Sure, you can buy a cat also


Bruno: How about one of those new phones with camera on them?


Acquaintance: A camera-phone sure, you can buy one of those also.


Bruno: How about a plate of potato gnocchi with some pesto?


Acquaintance: Yes, you can buy anything you want.


Bruno: Mmm… delicious!


Acquaintance: You can even  buy a rain coat and a train ticket, pay rent, buy Nutella or a Taiwanese visa or a ticket to visit your family in Argentina, you can even give it to people who need it more than you, you can use it to help the animals, you can get calf implants, you can order a Russian wife, you can build the iron man suit, you can clone yourself, you can do whatever you want with it.


Bruno: Whoa, money sounds awesome.


Acquaintance: It is.


Bruno: Where can I get some?


Acquaintance: At the casino of course.


Bruno: And what should I play?


Acquaintance: Whatever, it’s not about what you play, it’s about how you play.


Bruno: So, how should I play?


Acquaintance: Visualize yourself winning. 


Bruno: So I need to imagine that I win and then I’ll win?


Acquaintance: Yes kind of, but it’s not about imagination, is about belief, you have to convince yourself that you have won already. Like some people convince themselves that there’s a god, that their partners love them or that the world leaders are reptiles in disguise.


Bruno: How’s that possible? How does it work?


Acquaintance: It’s science, it’s quantum physics.


Bruno: No, it’s not and you have no idea what you’re talking about.


Acquaintance: You’re right, but if I tell you it’s science you will believe it and then it will work, if I tell you is magic or destiny you will reject the idea and it won’t work. The truth is that I don’t know how it works I just know it does.


Bruno: Fair enough, so how can I convince myself that I won already?


Acquaintance: Meditation, of course, train yourself to believe whatever you want to believe and believe it in a way that it becomes your reality.


Bruno: Like that book “the secret” or “what the bleep do we know” that everyone thinks is a hoax.


Acquaintance: Exactly.


Bruno: Alright then, I’ll give it a try, it was nice seeing you and thanks for the advice.


Acquaintance: No worries, would you like some fries with that?


Bruno: Sure, why not.

 

Whatever 12

Girl: How many girlfriends have you had?

Bruno: That’s a tough question, define girlfriend.

Girl: Some girl you went out with.

Bruno: That’s it?

Girl: Yeah.

Bruno: So if I went out with you on a date would that make you my ex-girlfriend now?

Girl: No, it’s gotta be more than one date.

Bruno: Alright 3 dates.

Girl: At least 5.

Bruno: Alright, so you and I went out on 5 dates, there was no physical contact and I never told you my feelings, would that make you my ex-girlfriend anyway?

Girl: Alright 5 dates and physical contact, that counts as a girlfriend.

Bruno: So if I had a girlfriend in primary school, we went out more than 5 times, we talked about our feelings, we held hands sometimes, that counts as physical contact, should I count her as an ex-girlfriend? 

Girl: No, it has to be more than holding hands.

Bruno: So you mean sexual contact, not physical contact.

Girl: Well at least making out.

Bruno: Alright, so let’s say I went out with this girl, on 6 dates, we had sex once and after that, for whatever reason she decided she wasn’t gonna take my calls anymore, would that count as a girlfriend? 

Girl: No, I don’t think so. Ok, lets try this, 5 dates or more, sexual contact, and emotional connection.

Bruno: Emotional connection from one or both sides.

Girl: Both of course. And you have talked about it and agreed you were boyfriend and girlfriend..

Bruno: Alright, picture this, it’s me and her, we love each other very much, we’ve been seeing each other for over a 2 years now, we live together, we’ve traveled together, I’ve met her parents, she met mines, but we never really felt that need to imply property on each other by giving each other possessive titles such as boyfriend or girlfriend, we love each other hence we don’t need any titles, being together is enough, because we are happy together. 

Girl: Well you’re a very special person, but most people need that security, lets say reassurance, of knowing you are seeing each other exclusively.

Bruno: No, don’t get me wrong, we knew it, there was just no need to say it. Now would you say that counts as a girlfriend or not?

Girl: Yes, I’d say so.

Bruno: Now picture this, I’ve met this girl yesterday, she says she loves me and wants to be my girlfriend, so as of yesterday she’s my girlfriend.

Girl: That wasn’t 5 dates.

Bruno: But are together, and we are calling each other boyfriend and girlfriend, how can that not count as a girlfriend if she says she is my girlfriend. 

Girl: I know, but it’s just too fast.

Bruno: So, it seems there’s no real set of parameters you can use to define what an ex-girlfriend really is, am I right?

Girl: You always have to have the last word don’t you?

Bruno: Just saying.

Girl: Did you really meet a girl yesterday?

Bruno: Maybe

Girl: What do you mean maybe?

Bruno: You see how you are? You see how girls are? They are totally uninterested in a guy, and right the moment he says he’s seeing someone else suddenly he becomes an object of their desire.They only want him because they can’t have him anymore, when they could have had him they didn’t want him, now that makes sense to you?

Girl: It’s attraction, it works in mysterious ways, it doesn’t need to make sense.

Bruno: Now for most guys the exact opposite happens, we are talking to a girl and exactly 0.3 seconds after she says she has a boyfriend we lose interest completely.

Girl: Really, so would you stop meeting a girl just because she has a boyfriend?

Bruno: Of course.

Girl: Why?

Bruno: Because it’s awkward, and also because of the bro code, but mostly because it’s awkward.

Girl: What’s the bro code?

Bruno: Is what makes that girls boyfriend a bro.

Girl: So you don’t see him as a rival or someone you have to compete with the get the girl.

Bruno: Of course not, he’s a bro.

Girl: Even though you don’t know him.

Bruno: Exactly. You see only a guy can understand what other guy has to go through in order to get a girl, so why would we want to cause that guy any pain or trouble.
Of course, there are a few exceptions, the pickup artists, the douchebags, they are not bros but most guys out there are. So when she says “I have a boyfriend” she’s making clear that she’s my bro’s girlfriend, we don’t mess around with other bro’s girlfriend, that’s just wrong.

Girl: I had no idea it was like that.

Bruno: Actually you know it’s like that, all girls do, and that’s one of the ways they have to let the guy know they are not interested.

Girl: Yeah, maybe we know, but it’s not just for that, it’s also to make things clear. It’s better than not mentioning you are seeing someone, most guys don’t even mention it.

Bruno: Yes we do, just not as early in the conversation as most girls do so.

Girl: And why is that?

Bruno: Because we know that would make us extremely attractive to your people.

Girl: No, it’s because you feel guilty talking to a girl you shouldn’t be talking to.

Bruno: Why guilty? We are just talking?

Girl: Yeah, we are also just talking, and by mentioning we have a boyfriend we want you to make sure we are REALLY just talking.

Bruno: Ok, I did meet a girl yesterday.

Girl: Really, what’s her name?

Bruno: Asuka, Asuka Kimura.

Girl: You’re such a bad liar.

Bruno: Ok, I didn’t meet anyone.

Girl: You’re such a loser.

Bruno: You see how you are, you just proved my point again.

Girl: Whatever you say.

Bruno: You’re so predictable.

Girl: Right, Asuka Kimura.

Bruno: You’re still thinking about that.

Girl: To tell the truth, I thought you would say Misato.

Bruno: Why Misato?

Girl: Sounds like the name of a girl you may like.

Bruno: It does actually.

Girl: Misato Imakura.

Bruno: I can picture her already.

Girl: How does she look like?

Bruno: Sweet.

Girl: How old is she, 15?

Bruno: Let’s say 27, same as me, to make it politically correct.

Girl: But then she wouldn’t be attracted to you because most girls like older guys.

Bruno: Good point. So let’s say she’s 24?

Girl: Still, too old, the attraction triggers in a girl when the guy is at least 4 years older than her, trust me, I’m a girl.

Bruno: 23 then?

Girl: That could work.

Bruno: Yeah… that could work..

Girl: …

Bruno: that could work…



Bruno: that could…

Girl: Oh, come on!

Bruno: What???

 

Whatever 11

 

Religious person: have you heard about jesus christ?

 

friend 2: Dude.. this is 2012. Jesus? really???

 

Bruno: Actually no, we haven’t, come in please have a seat, would you like some tea?

 

Religious person: Tea would be great, thank you.

 

Bruno: Alright.

 

Religious person: Jesus is the son of god, our lord and savior, he died for your sins.

He died for you and he loves you.

 

friend 2: But you know he was not a real person and never really existed, right?

 

Bruno: Here’s your tea, have some cookies.

 

Religious person: He was a real person, he was the son of god and he existed, it’s written in the bible.

 

friend 2: But you know the bible is a work of fiction, not a history book, right?

 

Bruno: A work of fiction that contains a great deal of morality, poetry, art, rhyme and fantastic stories.

 

Religious person: It’s history, it was written by people who could talk to god and he instructed them to write it.

 

friend 2: It was written by people who imagined, they could talk to god, and imagined he instructed them to write it.

 

Bruno: Imagination is a fantastic gift, only gifted people can tell stories and transmit all their feelings directly to the reader, books are windows to other worlds.

 

Religious person: God loves you, he created our planet and he created us, he’s all powerful and knows it all, he’s watching you right now.

 

friend 2: And you know you are saying all of that because you were born in south korea, after the 1950’s, but if you had been born in india, you would be saying the same about krishna or shiva, if you had been born in saudi arabia you would be saying the same about alah, if you had been born in ancient greece, you would  be saying the same about zeus, if you had been born in ancient egypt, you would be saying the same about osiris, if you had been born in ancient sumeria you would be saying the same about enki or utu…. and so on.

 

Bruno: and if you had been born in north korea you would be saying the same about kim jong il

 

Religious person: There is only one god, the christian god, all the other religions are wrong, all the other gods are not real.

 

friend 2: That’s what all the religions say, so how can we know you are telling the truth and they are not?

 

Bruno: How can we know you are a real human?

 

Religious person: because I’m telling the truth, I know I am.

 

friend 2: So do they.

 

Religious person: But they are wrong and I am right.

 

friend 2: What makes you so confident?

 

Bruno: Anthropocentrism.

 

Religious person: If you don’t believe in god, when you die you will go to hell, you can start believing now and you will go to heaven.

 

Bruno: sounds legit.

 

friend 2: just because you say it, i will go to a fictional place, from a fictional book that just some koreans and filipinos care about, great.

 

Bruno: Actually you WILL go to hell, in his imagination.

 

friend 2: You should know that religions are just another tool for social control, like television or advertisement.

 

Bruno: Or facebook.

 

Religious person: Why don’t you guys come to our church on sunday morning?

 

friend 2: Because we have a brain.

 

Religious person: We serve free lunch.

 

Bruno: We’re in.

 

Religious person: Great then, see you this sunday.

 

friend 2: No way, we’re not gonna trade our souls for free lunch, we can get free lunch at many other places. 

 

Bruno: Actually by believing there’s such a thing as “the soul”, you have already given away your sanity, so why not just going all the way?

 

Religious person: There’s a soul, it weights 21 grams and you can learn more about it on sunday morning.

 

friend 2: Why 21 grams? 

Bruno: That’s like, so random!

Religious person: Thank you for the tea, but I should get going now, see you guys on sunday then?

 

Bruno: Yes, we’ll be there.

 

friend 2: No way.

 

Bruno: Have a nice day and thank you for your visit.

 

Religious person: Have a nice day yourself.

 

friend 2: Whatever.

 

Whatever 10

Bruno: I’m sick and tired of this. Enough is enough, this system is corrupted, I don’t want anything to do with it anymore.


Friend: Oh boy, here we go.



Bruno: Seriously,  I’m not gonna worship money, I’m tired of everything and I don’t want to live on this planet anymore. 


Friend: That’s great, because I don’t want you to live on this planet anymore.


Bruno: You need me.


Friend: Yeah whatever, what happened now?


Bruno: I lost everything.


Friend: Like what? You have nothing.


Bruno: I have some stuff.


Friend: Like what?


Bruno: Just stuff.


Friend: Pokemon trading cards?


Bruno: No, some other stuff.


Friend: What stuff?


Bruno: Stuff you don’t know about.



Friend: Either way, it sounds like good news to me, if you lost everything now you are free to do anything! 


Bruno: What do you mean?


Friend: It’s like pressing the reset button. Now you have nothing to lose anymore so just start over.


Bruno: And do what?


Friend: Do what you’ve always wanted, of course, become a shepherd in Mongolia.


Bruno: What? No, I don’t want to go to Mongolia.


Friend: Why not, what’s wrong with Mongolia?


Bruno: No fruits there for me to eat, no job prospects, landlocked, flight is expensive, visa is expensive, hard to get and for a very short time.


Friend: All the government’s fault, right?


Bruno: Exactly, why do I have to go to the embassy of Mongolia and being treated like a criminal, give them lots of money and lots of papers. It’s idiotic, I was born on this planet, it should be my right to visit it and come and go as I please.


Friend: Who do you think you are? You have no rights, you little punk..


Bruno: I’m an earthling, I was born here, I deserve it.


Friend: No rights for you young man.


Bruno: Why not?


Friend: You know why not.


Bruno: Because fuck me?


Friend: Exactly.


Bruno: Whatever then.


Friend: Hahaha, poor loser! Take that you little son of a…


Bruno: Ouch, why was that for?


Friend: For wanting to go to Mongolia. I don’t know who do you think you are.


Bruno: Actually, it was you who said I should go to Mongolia in the first place.


Friend: You liar, piece of sh…

Bruno: I don’t know why I hang out with you. 

Friend: Whatever, move along. 

 

 

The meaning of life

me: how have you been?

Ale: good, and you?
 
me: not bad
any news?



Ale: not really
 
me: did you find the meaning of life?



Ale: yes



me: 42?



Ale: nop
it has the meaning each one of us wants to give it
if you want to suffer, no matter what happens, you will feel suffering
if you want to learn, no matter what happens, you are going to learn
if you want to enjoy, no matter what happens, you are going to enjoy
that is it!



me: tell me more



Ale: there is always a way out of this life at least
that is death
what happens there, I have an idea
without the body, everything is an experience
neither good nor bad
when we have a body then we start qualifying



me: i dont get it



Ale: you qualify an experience
as good or bad
but things happen
they are not good or bad
something good, with the perspective of time might not be as good as you thought
and vice versa
 
Ale: and then, depending on the person you are now, you will tend to judge or see or focus on the “bad stuff” or the “good stuff”
there is plenty of both
but you decide if you want to focus on the bad stuff, you will likely suffer
suffer yourself, suffer on behalf of other, nature, society
whatever you choose
and this is for the people who are more or less aware
the rest of the people are simple
like ants



me: they are just there



Ale: yes
eating, shitting, working, having sex
whatever
they would not even begin to question
Then you question
and you find all the bad stuff first
(that is the normal way, I would say)
(normal = common)



me: got it



Ale: then you get fed up with the crap…and might change lens to look at the world

me: makes sense



me: so, now that you found the meaning of life, what’s left to do?
live it and enjoy it?
 
Ale: that is what I chose
and learn



me: learn what?



Ale: everything I can
or feel like

 me: cool, talk to you later then

 

About food

 

Girl: So.. what’s your favorite food?

 

Bruno: I like cheap food.

 

Girl: Haha, why is that?

 

Bruno: Because it tastes like freedom.

 

Girl: What do you mean?

 

Bruno: It tastes good, it tastes like freedom.

 

Girl: And how does freedom tastes like?

 

Bruno: I’ll explain, if food is cheap that means I can buy or get more of it, we transform the food into energy, so cheap food means I get more energy, which means I get to stay alive a bit longer and can maybe use that energy to do something I like. If the food is pricey I will get less of it, less energy means less time to live.

 

Girl: Like that movie “In time”.

 

Bruno: Exactly, except that instead of buying time we need to buy food. Therefore, free food = free energy = free time.

 

Girl: Makes sense, but cheap food doesn’t taste as good as the pricey one.

 

Bruno: Why not?

 

Girl: Because it’s cheap.

 

Bruno: How can the price influence the taste?

 

Girl: I don’t know maybe they use more ingredients or something.

 

Bruno: Maybe it’s the same food, and the only difference is the price.

 

Girl: So why does it taste better for me?

 

Bruno: For the same reason the cheap food tastes better for me.

 

Girl: Because of what it represents for us.

 

Bruno: Exactly.

 

Girl: So for you, cheap food represents freedom, for me expensive food represents that I am now somehow financially successful in life and can afford things I couldn’t before.

 

Bruno: Exactly, so actually, for you, it represents freedom as well, because now you are free to choose whatever you want to eat, without having to worry about the price.

 

Girl: Funny.

 

Bruno: So actually, you and I are more similar then we think.

 

Girl: We have to learn to appreciate those similarities and learn from our differences.

 

Bruno: Well said, I’ll think of that from now on.

 

Girl: Me too.

 

Bruno: I’m still in the friendzone, right?

 

Girl: Yep.

 

Whatever 9

Girl: I don’t know what to do with my life.


Bruno: Me neither.


Girl: What can we do?


Bruno: Nothing.


Girl: We have to do something.


Bruno: No, we don’t.


Girl: I feel like we have to do something.


Bruno: How about no?


Girl: Yes, let’s do something


Bruno: Nah.


Girl: We should do something.


Bruno: How about we don’t?


Girl: Oh, you are such a boring person.


Bruno: That’s relative.


Girl: Everything’s relative.


Bruno: Everything depends on everything else.


Girl: Let’s go to a party.


Bruno: Meh.


Girl: Let’s go to the movies.


Bruno: But we have internet.


Girl: C’mon don’t be so cheap.


Bruno: The reason why I pay for internet is so that we don’t need to go to the movies.


Girl: I really don’t know why I hang out with you. 


Bruno: I know why.


Girl: Why is that?


Bruno: Because I’m handsome, so you feel pretty next to me.


Girl: No, you’re not that handsome.


Bruno: So you can practice your English and learn many words from me?


Girl: No, your English is not so good, can’t be that either.


Bruno: Is it because I’m a genious, who always gives you good pieces of advice and get you out of trouble?


Girl: Nah, you can’t even spell genius.




Bruno: Is it because you know I will become a rich and famous actor and you want a share of my stash?


Girl: What are you talking about? You’re a terrible actor, I wouldn’t count on that if I were you.


Bruno: Is it because I can read you like a book and always know what you are thinking and what you need?


Girl: Yeah, it could be that. I’m not sure. What else do you have?


Bruno: Ok, I know, because I represent the part of you that has been suppressed for many years, the part that wants break free. When you are with me you feel free, like you can do anything you want, like there’s no limit to what you can do, no limit to where you can go, like time doesn’t matter, you have all the time in the universe, there’s no pressure for you to be someone you don’t want or do something you don’t want and you feel peaceful, like no matter what happens, everything’s gonna be ok.


Girl: Is that what you think?


Bruno: No, I just made it up.


Girl: Maybe you are right.


Bruno: Maybe I am.


Girl: Or maybe not.


Bruno: Probably not.


Girl: You know, I think you’re right.


Bruno: Am I?


Girl: I think.


Bruno: Lucky guess.


Girl: Oh, don’t be so modest, you’re always one step ahead of me and you know me better than I know myself.


Bruno: Do I?


Girl: Oh, come on.


Bruno: Alright, alright, let’s go for a walk.


Girl: I thought you said you wanted to do nothing today.


Bruno: Well I changed my mind, let’s go and maybe we can hold hands.


Girl: I don’t think so.


Bruno: Why not?


Girl: Because we’re friends.


Bruno: Right.


Girl: You’re a good guy.


Bruno: So?


Girl: Good guys have to stay in the friendzone, remember?


Bruno: There’s no way out?


Girl: Not for you, not. Unless you change your attitude, girls like bad guys, stop paying so much attention to me, act cool, act like you don’t care, pretend you don’t need me, don’t call me so often, act mysterious, ignore me, be more arrogant, make fun of me, stop being so nice and then maybe, just maybe you can get out of the friendzone.


Bruno: Meh, so much effort!


Girl: I know it doesn’t make sense, but that’s girl’s logic, seduction is a game and you should learn how to play it.


Bruno: It’s just too much work and I’m just so lazy.


Girl: You’ll die alone then.


Bruno: And you too.


Girl: Whatever.


Bruno: 🙂

Whatever 8

Friend: Hey there.


Bruno: Hey, how’s it going?


Friend: I feel terrible, just had an argument with my parents.


Bruno: Why? What happened?


Friend: Well, I want to go on a holiday, but they don’t want me to go. What do you think I should do?


Bruno: Mmm.. that sounds like a typical first world problem. And the solution is usually the same, just brush it off.


Friend: What do you mean “first world problem”?


Bruno: Well, you know I have a friend, an English teacher here in Korea, and she told me that before coming here she was volunteering in Uganda, helping people with AIDS, and those people would die, because they didn’t have access to the medicines, sometimes they were some medicines somewhere, but they were just too far away, and the transport costs too much for them, so they can’t make it to the city, and they just die. 

Sometimes they have to trek for long hours, just to bring some water to their family and on the way they may get eaten by a lion if they were lucky enough not to encounter some bandits or soldiers that will rape them and kill them, or make them slaves. 

You see, in Korea, same as the country you are right now, we don’t have AIDS, we don’t need to struggle to find food or water, we have no malaria, famine, plagues, drought, we have no dictator and no mass massacres, to put it simply we have no real problems. 

So we have to make some up, for example I would worry about the corruption in our government and about the high-income inequality, you would feel bad because your parents don’t want you to go on vacations, someone else will worry because their iPhone broke, they can’t find a boyfriend, the weather is too cold or whatever.


Friend: Why do we do that?


Bruno: As with most things, there’s no just one reason or one person to blame for it, it depends on a million different variables, a million different “if”‘s. But maybe the simplest of reasons is that we’ve always done it and we don’t bother changing it because change scares us. 


You know, there’s a documentary I really enjoyed about stress, basically, they observe and study some distant cousins of ours, a tribe of baboons in the wild, their hierarchies, social status and relate it to the level of stress in their blood.


It turned out that the average baboon only needed to spend around 3 hours a day finding food and eating it, that left them the rest of the day free, to make someone else’s life miserable.
Which is pretty much the same we do. And, paradoxically enough, same as in a corporate environment, each baboon, knew exactly who he could be picked on by, who could he pick on, and in turn, who could be picked on by the baboon he can pick on and so on.


The rest is history, as we evolved, almost every known human civilization, once they get to cover their basic needs (food, water, shelter) they have tons of free time to terrorize each other, either by making up gods that will punish them, finding some reason to invade or conquer their neighbors, or just make their own lives miserable with a bunch of utterly bureaucratic procedure of some kind. 


Take the egyptians, for example, once they started thriving, they couldn’t just relax by the Nile and do some bird watching, they HAD to create a intricate series of gods, rituals, laws and hierarchies, then enslave hundreds of thousands of people in order to build some massive structures, for some retarded reason. And they HAD to do it, of course, in the most ridiculously difficult way possible, let’s take 20 years to build only one of this structures and let’s use stones weighing up to 2.5 tons, yay!


And this is not me complaining about the Egyptians, this is me complaining about human stupidity, we’ve been here for 200.000 years already (homo sapiens), we should know better already.


It’s just not you that worries about what your parents say, everyone worries about things that don’t matter, I also worry about my job, the weather, the future or silly things like catching the 150 Pokemon.


Friend: I think they are more than 150 now.


Bruno: You get my point though?


Friend: There are 649 Pokemon now.


Bruno: I know, but for me, they will always be 150, maybe I’m just old.


Friend: Not old, but things change, we discover more Pokemon, they evolve, and they get more and more complex every day, unnecessarily complex I would say, did you know that there are 7 Eevee evolutions now?


Bruno: Now that’s just too many Eevee evolutions.


Friend: You said you worry about your job, but how come you never talk about your job?


Bruno: True, I don’t usually talk about it, but I do worry, not as much as everyone else worries about it though. I’m just trying to change my perspective, see, pretty much all my life I’ve witnessed how everyone’s life revolved around their work. 


Friend: Well, you are what you do, right?


Bruno: Exactly! That’s what I got tired of, of having to “be” something, and the million social obligations that something, that title carries with it, so if I’m an office worker I have to dress a certain way, I have to talk, eat and behave in a certain way, hang out with certain people, at certain places, drink coffee and look stressed, because if I’m relaxed I wouldn’t be fitting the stereotype of the office worker, the same will happen if I’m an artist, musician or something like that, I have to dress a certain way, hang out at certain places, with certain people, I’m expected to care more about social issues and my ideas are expected to be more liberal, so I got tired of always having to fit into some job description that will, in turn, define my personality, my ideas, my appearance and that the rest of my life will revolve around that job description.


Friend: So you’re not gonna work anymore so you don’t get labeled.


Bruno: It’s not about working or not working, it’s about not giving it more importance than it should have and not be letting my job control my life. So yes, I’ll work for a couple of weeks or months every year here and there, save some money, then go traveling or do something I enjoy, like learning a new language and spend all the money, when I run out of money, I’ll find a different job in a different country, save some money, spend  it all doing something nice, work again, and so on, but I’m not gonna stress about it like I did before and definitely not going to let it take over my soul.


Friend: I wish I could do that.


Bruno: So do it.


Friend: But everyone expects me to work my whole life at the same job, I’m Asian remember?


Bruno: I’m Asian too.


Friend: No, you’re not.


Bruno: Ok, I’m not, anyway, being Asian is just the most handy excuse you can find now for not doing what you want, Asian countries have some expectations towards their citizens, same as every other country in the world, they are all pretty much the same, and we all think our life is harder than everyone else’s and we all think our country or our family makes our lives oh so very difficult, just so that we don’t have to take responsibility for our lives and we can keep blaming someone else for our misery.


Friend: 649 Pokemon.


Bruno: It’s crazy, right? 649 and counting and some of them just look ridiculous, like, seriously, what is this?

Friend: It’s a Solosis.


Bruno: And that?

Friend: that’s a ferrothorn.


Bruno: How about this one?

 

Friend: Luvdisc


Bruno: How clever! And what’s this supposed to be?

Friend: That’s a chimecho.


Bruno: This is getting out of hand.


Friend: You know it’s just a children’s game anyway.


Bruno: Children’s game? How dare you!?!?


Friend: It is.


Bruno: Well, whatever then.


Friend: 🙂

Go to the gym

Guilt: It’s 3 o’clock.



Bruno: So?



Guilt: So, the gym closes at 5?



Bruno: So?


Guilt: So you should be on your way already.



Bruno: What’s that? I should???


Guilt: Yes, because if you don’t you’re gonna feel guilty later today, and if you don’t get yourself tired you won’t be able to sleep well tonight.



Bruno: F***k that s***t, I’ll sleep anyway.


Guilt: No you won’t and you know it.



Bruno: Well, I’m not going anywhere.


Guilt: So why on earth did you spend so much time understanding how exercise works, how it affects your mood and what effects it has on your body if now you won’t want to go to the gym? Why do you spend so much time learning what foods are good for you, which aren’t, how are they digested, which gives you the best nutrients, if you’re not gonna eat them later? Why do you spend time understanding the political and socio-economical institutions if you’re not gonna try to make them better? You need to walk the talk, exercise makes us happy and you know it, no “but”, get dressed, go to the gym, and think about what I said.



Bruno: Who do you think you are?


Guilt: I’m the logical part of you, the one that will come up with logical arguments to convince you to always do the right thing for the right reasons. No excuses.



Bruno: So damn arrogant, well guess what logic, I don’t care. I’m gonna stay home and learn every single one of Asuka’s 10 hit combos in Tekken dark resurrection.


Guilt: That’s ridiculous, you have Tekken 6, why would you play dark resurrection?



Bruno: Just to piss you off, that’s why.


Guilt: It’s 3.10 you better get going.



Bruno: I have a headache.


Guilt: No, you don’t.



Bruno: I’m still tired from yesterday.


Guilt: You’re not.



Bruno: It looks like it’s gonna rain.


Guilt: It doesn’t.



Bruno: I have things to do tomorrow morning.


Guilt: You don’t.



Bruno: Ok, how about this: I’ll just exercise at home for 1 hour, right here right now, and you leave me alone.


Guilt: Work out at home for 2 hours, 30 minutes of yoga, 30 minutes of stretching, then go for a walk for 1 hour and you’re free.



Bruno: 1 hour exercise, 15 minutes stretching, walk around the block and I’m done with this s**t. I’ll even throw in some documentaries after the walk.


Guilt: 1 hour exercise, 30 minutes stretching, 30 minutes meditation, then go for a walk for as long as you want and you’re off the hook.



Bruno: Deal.


Guilt: Deal.

Shave your head

Bruno: Let’s shave our heads today!

Friend: What? Where did that come from?

Bruno: Let’s shave our heads, baby!

Friend: What? You call yourself baby now?

Bruno: Yeah baby.

Friend: Ok baby, let’s shave.

Bruno: What? Wait, are you sure of this?

Friend: No. But you just said so, I’ll just play along.

Bruno: You’re not supposed to play along, you’re supposed to bring me down to earth and tell me it’s a silly idea.

Friend: I think it’s a great idea actually.

Bruno: Is it?

Friend: Sure, well you may loose some of your charms, but you’ll save some money in shampoo and hair products.

Bruno: I never use shampoo or hair products anyway.

Friend: So you’ll save some money on the hairdresser.

Bruno: I don’t spend on that either.

Friend: So on water, if you need to wash it less often.

Bruno: That one either.

Friend: Eewww, so it makes no difference, you always wearing a cap anyway.

Bruno: True.

Friend: So just do it.

Bruno: Ok baby, let’s do it together.

Friend: Forever alone level: schizophrenia.

Bruno: What can I say? I’ve been lonely.

Friend: You’ll be fine either way, you’ll be fine if you just stop worrying.

Bruno: I’ll be fine either way.

Friend: Everything’s gonna be just fine.

Bruno: Just fine.

Friend: Everything’s gonna be A-okay!

Bruno: A-okay!

Friend: You see, you’re feeling better now.

Bruno: I feel better.

Friend: You’re so lucky you have me.

Bruno: I’m lucky to have you.

Friend: You did well, now relax, take a deep breath and just sleep, that tomorrow it will be a wonderful day.

Bruno: I’ll just sleep.

Friend: Sleep.

Whatever 7

Friend: have you ever thought about having a baby?


Bruno: Not really, I think we have way too many people already on this planet, we don’t need anymore.



Friend: But it’s the circle of life, we have to keep procreating.


Bruno: Indefinitely? 




Friend: Yes, like the stupid animals we are.


Bruno: But… almost  7.000.000.000 people already and counting, one million more people every four days, every second 2 people are born, isn’t that enough? It’s not like we are facing extinction or anything.


Friend: Anyway, it’s what’s expected from you, you’re almost 30, gotta start procreating already.


Bruno: Wtf! I’m like no way near 30, I’m 27.




Friend: It’s a good time to have a baby.


Bruno: We don’t even have enough resources to take care of all the people we have now, why do we have to keep having more and more? Every baby born needs shelter, clothes, electricity, tons of food and water, we are not even able to provide for all the people we have now, and you want to keep adding more people?


Friend: Poor people are not your problem, you have to take care of yourself, and think about your future.


Bruno: I am a poor person, and I can barely take care of myself, how do you expect me to take care of a baby? And most important, why? why on earth would I ever want to do that? 


Friend: Because it’s what’s expected.


Bruno: Not a good reason.




Friend: Because you can.


Bruno: Still not a good reason.


Friend: Because then they can support you and take care of you when you are old.


Bruno: I’m not asian, I don’t need my children to support me or take care me, I’ll rather take care of myself.


Friend: But you will be blind.


Bruno: I’ll be fine.


Friend: You will die.


Bruno: I’ll learn to astral project, telekinesis, telepathy or something like that.


Friend: Right.


Bruno: Really, you don’t think I can do it?


Friend: Of course not.


Bruno: Why not?


Friend: Because those things don’t really exist. 


Bruno: Not yet, but I can be the first one to discover them.


Friend: But that falls into the category of the paranormal, like the gods, astrology, angels, or ghosts, and you always say you don’t believe in the paranormal.


Bruno: True, but If I can prove it, it will stop being paranormal, it will become a fact. Then I can believe in it because it’s just there.


Friend: You think too much, you better have a baby, so that he will take care of you.


Bruno: No way. You expect me to just ignore all the overpopulation and environmental problems and think just about my own selfish future.


Friend: Exactly.


Bruno: Why would I?


Friend: Because everyone else does.


Bruno: Not everyone else, most people yes, not everyone.


Friend: Still.


Bruno: My father had way more babies that he could take care of, more than he could provide for, nevertheless, he decided to keep having babies, and he decided to take care of the other babies instead of taking care of me, so I had to suffer because of that, because he couldn’t provide for me. I’m not a man of means so I wouldn’t be able to provide for my babies either, why would I make them go through the same I went through for not having enough food.


Friend: Looks like someone has daddy issues.


Bruno: No way, it’s just an example, and supposing I WERE a man of means, and I was able to provide for them, how could I ever live with myself knowing there are so many children in the world that have no one to take care of them, waiting for someone to adopt them, and I selfishly decided to bring a new baby to this planet while there are so many that have no parents.


Friend: How about passing on your genes or genetic material?


Bruno: No need to do that.


Friend: How about passing on your legacy, all the things you have learned, and all the things you know to future generations.


Bruno: There is no such a legacy, the only thing I know is that I’m never gonna have children.


Friend: Never say never.


Bruno: You just said it twice.


Friend: Whatever.


Bruno: Yeah, Whatever.

How I met Retinitis Pigmentosa

It’s 1995. I’m still in primary school, hanging around with a friend called Facundo.  

Note: He was a hipster.  

It was the time when we were all watching The X-Files and wanting to be FBI agents.  

Note: We thought FBI agents were heroes, for some reason.  

So Facundo and I decided to start our own private detective agency.  

Note: We were 10 years old.  

We called it FBI of course, but in this case, it meant Facundo and Bruno Investigators.  

Note: I came up with the name.  

So we made some business cards and started going around asking people if they had any paranormal activity to report or if they had something that needed to be investigated.  

Note: We would actually ask people on the streets if they had seen any ghost or UFOs  

Even though Business was quite slow, that wasn’t going to stop us, we knew the truth was out there and we wanted to believe, so we decided to go out and investigate on our own, find our own unsolved mysteries.  

Note: We never found anything.  

At first we started sneaking into abandoned buildings, empty lots, basements, sewers, after that we moved on to rooftops, we got to know most secret passages to every building’s rooftop and after a while we got to navigate our neighborhood from above, climbing, jumping and swinging, it was almost like Assassin’s Creed.  

Note: It was nothing like Assassin’s Creed.  

And then one Sunday afternoon, while we were exploring the lightless cellar of an abandoned building by the river, I met her for the first time.   Facundo was navigating the dark alleys and underground passageways as if it was daylight, stealthy as a cat, while I stumbled upon every single obstacle on the way. Hitting my head and my legs with everything on the way and then pretending it didn’t hurt and trying to look tough.  

Note: It did hurt, a lot.  

So while being constantly left behind and trying to catch up to him, the 10 year old me started to wonder why he could see in the dark and I couldn’t. Then, suddenly, she decided to show herself in front of me.    

10 years old me: Who are you?  

???????: My name is Retinitis Pigmentosa.  

10 years old me: What are you? Are you an alien?  

Retinitis Pigmentosa: No, I’m an eye disease.  

10 years old me: From alien origin?  

Retinitis Pigmentosa: No.

10 years old me: Are you sure?   Retinitis Pigmentosa: Yes.

10 years old me: And what are you doing here?  

Retinitis Pigmentosa: I came to keep you company, I’ll be staying with you for a while.  

10 years old me: And what are you going to do to me?  

Retinitis Pigmentosa: I’m going to make your life very very difficult and in 30 years from now I’m going to take your eyesight for good.

10 years old me: Why in 30 years, why not now?

Retinitis Pigmentosa: You see, instead of doing it fast and painlessly from one day to the other, I will do it gradually, so each year you will see a bit less than the previous one, and you will remember what’s waiting for you. That way you’ll suffer more.

10 years old me: That’s like… so cruel!

Retinitis Pigmentosa: What can I say? I didn’t say it would be nice.

10 years old me: Why me?  

Retinitis Pigmentosa: Because f**k you Bruno, that’s why.  

10 years old me: What’s that language? I don’t like that kind of language.  

Retinitis Pigmentosa: You are going to be blind.

10 years old me: Just me?  

Retinitis Pigmentosa: No, I give it to 1 in 4.000 people.  

10 years old me: So, why did you choose me?  

Retinitis Pigmentosa: You asked that already.

10 years old me: Take Facundo’s  

Retinitis Pigmentosa: I can’t, he needs his.  

10 years old me: And I need mine too.  

Retinitis Pigmentosa: Well, it is what it is.

10 years old me: What does that mean?  

Retinitis Pigmentosa: You will understand when you grow up.  

10 years old me: “It is what it is”.  

Retinitis Pigmentosa: Problem?

10 years old me: No, I don’t care.  

Retinitis Pigmentosa: Watch your head!  

10 years old me: Ouch!      

Retinitis Pigmentosa:          

10 years old me:           

17 years and more than 17 scars later I learned to live with her. Learned to respect her and to respect her authority. When she says no, it means no.   When she says “you have 2 hours left of sunlight, better start heading back” I’ll head back.   When she says “don’t go there, it’s too dark, you will die.” I won’t go there.   When she says “you have 13 years left of eyesight, you better enjoy them” I’ll enjoy them.   And sometimes, not so often but sometimes, when people ask me why do I always wear a cap, or sunglasses indoors, or why I choose to stay at home after dusk, I may tell them this story you just read, or I may not.

Whatever 6

 

Friend: Why do you want to end world poverty and income inequality? Some people are rich, some are poor, that’s just the way it is.

 

Bruno: I want? No, this is not about what I want or I don’t want, it’s about doing the right thing. It’s about what has to be done.

 

Friend: But I like having more than the rest, that way I have no stress, don’t need to work, can live a comfortable life, and all that thanks to my country’s government who promote and enforce this income inequality you don’t like.

 

Bruno: It’s not about what I like or don’t like, it’s just the right thing to do!!!

Friend: And who are you to say what’s right or wrong?

 

Bruno: I’m just a man, with all my flaws and all my goodness, just a man. Who doesn’t accept that billions suffer because of the greed of hundreds.

 

Friend: We live in complex times, things are not just black and white.

 

Bruno: It’s easy to say that with a full stomach and a roof over your head.

 

Friend: Well, you’re on your own on this, what are you gonna do?

 

Bruno: I’m not on my own, and everything’s done already, half of it at least, the guys from  the venus project found all the solutions to all the problems, war, poverty, crimes, hunger, everything’s solved in theory.

 

Friend: Theory won’t feed people.

 

Bruno: It’s a start.

 

Friend: How about the practice?

 

Bruno: We are working on that.

 

Friend: How? by standing on the street with a sing or signing online petitions.

 

Bruno: No, when we run out of resources everyone will understand that there’s something wrong and the system is not working if enough people stop supporting it, will collapse by itself and then we can build something better, something that actually works for everyone and not for a few. Then we can implement the ideas of the venus project

 

Friend: People already ran out of resources in many countries a while ago, did anything change? did they stop supporting the system?

 

Bruno: Not yet but they will.

 

Friend: You know what they did in Africa to justify the genocides, plagues, and famine, they build churches and told people the reason why they die and are poor is because of God’s plan so they won’t complain or look for a solution.

 

Bruno: I couldn’t say, I’ve never been the Africa, but what I do know is that when people have no education they are easy to manipulate, control the educational system or better yet, get rid of it and you can mold and control people’s minds. Control education and you will have slaves for life, who will never dare to question the system or your decisions. They will say “that’s God’s plan” or “that’s just the way it is”.

 

Friend: Thanks for the tip.

 

Bruno: My pleasure.

 

Friend: Things are never gonna change.

 

Bruno: Not with that attitude for sure.

 

Friend: There can’t be good without evil, can’t be light without darkness. Darkness gives meaning to light.

 

Bruno: That could be true in the case that we didn’t know what light was and we only knew darkness, but in our case, we know both already so we can choose one.

 

Friend: I don’t want to choose.

 

Bruno: By not choosing one you are already choosing.

 

Friend: I’m not, this is not my problem.

 

Bruno: Ok, so when they can’t farm the land, breathe the air and drink the water anymore, you will be the one to explain to future generations that it was good for the economy. And that you chose not to choose.

 

Friend: Whatever.

 

Bruno: Yeah, “whatever”.

 

 

start a revolution

Bruno: What do you mean, you feel lonely? You’re like the strongest and most independent person I know.


Friend: Everyone feels lonely sometimes.


Bruno: But you have many people who care about you.


Friend: Do I?


Bruno: Well… No, not really, but people know you, they know who you are.


Friend: You care, right?


Bruno: Yes, I do but at least you’re still free.


Friend: Yes, I’m free in the sense that I can only afford things that are free.


Bruno: Best things in life are for free.


Friend: That’s what poor people say.


Bruno: Alright, I know what will make you feel better.


Friend: What?


Bruno:  


Friend: potato?


Bruno: Yes, potato.


Friend: How.. How’s that’ suppose to make me feel better?


Bruno: I just thought..


Friend: A potato..


Bruno: It’s the thought that count.


Friend: well, thanks, I guess..


Bruno: I don’t know what else to do.


Friend: How about making me a sandwich?


Bruno: Alright, what do you want on it?


Friend: How about some tomato and lettuce, some pickles and a bit of hummus. And maybe some carrot juice to drink, no make it kiwi juice, ok carrot, carrot and kiwi juice, could you do that for me?


Bruno: I’ll do my best, but you know we don’t have any of those things, right? How about some instant noodles with some bread from last week and some tap water to drink?


Friend: Damn! Are we still poor?


Bruno: Last time I checked.


Friend: Ok, where’s that potato?


Bruno: Yeah.. actually it wasn’t yours, I took it from your flatmate’s shelf.


Friend: Damn! Damn you Korean government, Y U NO PROVIDE FREE FOOD, HEALTH AND EDUCATION?


Korean government: Because fuck you, that’s why.


Friend: Damn you!


Bruno: Sorry bro, you’re on you’re own.


Friend: I guess I am on my own.


Bruno: And getting angry won’t make it go away.


Friend: I know, but what else can I do?


Bruno: Start a revolution, take back the power, take over the government, give power to the people and provide free home, food, health and education for everyone, that’s always been your dream, right?


Friend: But everyone around me seems oblivious to everything around them and oblivious that I’m aware they are oblivious to everything around them.


Bruno: They are just too busy trying to keep themselves busy by trying to look busy so you don’t notice how busy they are, trying to look busy.


Friend: Wait, I’m confused.


Bruno: Yeah, I don’t know what I just said.


Friend: Do you think there are others like us out there?


Bruno: No.


Friend: Only on the internet?


Bruno: Yes, that’s a start, right?


Friend: Right?


Bruno: Right?


Friend: Right.

Bruno: Right.


Friend: Left.



Bruno: Left?



Friend: Left?



Bruno: Right.



Friend: Left.



Bruno: Left.



Friend: Right.



Bruno: Left.



Friend: Right.



Bruno: Left.

Friend: Left.



Bruno: Left.



Friend: Right.



Bruno: Left.



Friend: Right.



Bruno: Left.


Friend: Wtf dude it’s 3 am, go to sleep.



Bruno: Right.

Midnight humor

Boy: So, how did you guys meet each other?



Bruno: In Japan  couple of years ago.



Boy:  Oh, cool, what were you doing in Japan?


Bruno: Not much, just relaxing.


Boy: Just relaxing? Not working or studying?


Girl: I love it when you say “just relaxing” so casually.


Boy: Relaxing in Japan? What are you rich? 


Bruno: Yeah, I’m rich.


Boy: Lucky you!


Bruno: Lucky me!


Boy: Japan is expensive.


Bruno: Really? have you ever been there?


Boy: No, I just heard it’s expensive.


Bruno: Right..


Boy: Can I ask why do you have holes in your shoes if you are rich?


Bruno: Well, here’s the thing, I’m rich intellectually not monetarily.


Boy: And you said you just came by hitchhiking from 2.000 km away, that’s insane! you must be really broke.


Girl: Well, that we would do it anyway, even if we were rich, because of the experience. I’m pretty sure most hitchhikers do it mostly for the experience than to save money, for the thrill of it, the randomness, the adventure, the sensation of freedom, the landscapes, the awesome people you meet, same as with Couchsurfing.


Boy: But, isn’t that dangerous?


Bruno: Do you think so? have you tried it?


Boy: No, I just heard it’s dangerous.


Bruno: Right..


Boy: I would never pick up a stranger, or let a stranger stay at my place for free.


Girl: Actually that’s the best thing about hitchhiking, that all the assholes drive by, so we only get the nice people. 


Bruno: I can’t believe you just said that.


Girl: Well it’s the truth because people who are fearful or don’t trust others would never pick you up, the only ones who stop for us are are the ones who have the ability to feel compassion towards someone in need.


Bruno: Yeah, that’s the thing they are fearful because they have been brainwashed by the government and the media, but that doesn’t mean they are assholes. It just means that their perception of the world around them has been carefully manipulated and they have replaced their altruism for greed and their compassion for selfishness.


Girl: Yeah, for you everything’s a conspiracy always.


Boy: But, how can you guys support your travels if you’re poor?


Girl: Well, there’s the thing, we’re not really traveling, we are living. So we don’t need to support our travels, we need to support our life.


Boy: So, how can you support your life?


Bruno: That’s a hard one, I’m not really sure how it works out, I just know it does. I think, living a modest life may be a good answer to that question. Not craving things we don’t need. And trying to keep it simple. Maybe the most important thing for me is being flexible and knowing how to improvise. Being positive helps of course, and there’s the statistical factor also. For example, let’s say I’m completely broke and just about to hit the streets with a sign reading “will work for food”. Before that I may want to try my luck at some social event, there are tons every day on meetup.com and Couchsurfing. If you talk to let’s say 10 or 20 people and tell them you are looking for a job, chances are that someone knows someone who knows someone and can help you out.


Boy: That makes sense.


Bruno: No, it doesn’t, we’ve been pulling your leg.


Girl: Just a little midnight humor before going to bed.


Boy: Midnight humor.. I see.. well good night then, see you guys tomorrow.


Bruno: Night! 

Girl: Have a good night.

 

good boy, bad boy

 

Bruno: OMG, I’m a womanizer!

Friend: No, you’re not. You wish you were, because of Barney Stinson.

 

Bruno: Ok, you’re right.

Friend: Everyone who watches that show wishes they were as funny and charismatics as he is, the other characters are boring.

 

Bruno: So you think that guys who are single or in a relationship are boring?

Friend: Pretty much.

 

Bruno: In kind of makes sense, Barney has more fun than the others, is more detached, he doesn’t need to take things so seriously, so he can make fun of everything and everyone. But Chandler was still funny after he married Monica, right?

Friend: Not as much as before though.

 

Bruno: That’s because the show got boring after so many years, not just Chandler.

Friend: Anyway, single guys usually lack confidence and the ones who are dating someone, usually look like they have no thrill in their life and no reason to live anymore.

 

Bruno: Way too much generalization there, I think you’re just pissed because single guys steal your girls and the ones in a relationship don’t hang out with you anymore because they are too busy with their girlfriends.

Friend: Ok. you’re right.

 

Bruno: Would you ever cheat on your partner?

Friend: Haha, I can’t even get one girl, how do you expect me to get two?

 

Bruno: Yeah, the first one is tough, but after that you better brace yourself.

Friend: Why do all of them like douchebags?

 

Bruno: Well, I’m by no means an expert on this things,  but I once read a phrase that goes something like this “every girl wants a bad boy that will be good just for her, and every boy wants a good girl that will be bad just for him”

Friend: True story 😉

 

 

 

 

 

whatever 5

Friend 2: So, what’s the plan for today?

Bruno: Try to figure out what’s the meaning of life.

Friend 2: Again with that? There’s no meaning to figure out, I told you.

Bruno: So why do we exist? 

Friend 2: For no reason. We just do.

Bruno: I read that the meaning of life was to be happy, and to avoid suffering. And then I read somewhere else it was to prepare for the moment we die.

Friend 2: I’d rather try to be happy than prepare to die.

Bruno: So, why have we reached such a high level of consciousness and awareness if we are not to have a purpose in this life?

Friend 2: Exactly, humans have achieved a self-awareness state in the one they can speculate and try to find the meaning of life. But the fact that you think there’s a meaning of life doesn’t mean there is one. The fact that you look for something doesn’t mean it’s there.

Bruno: So there’s no point in searching for it?

Friend 2: Not really. Probably the meaning of your life is the same meaning of the life of let’s say a plant or a bird, to interrelate and interact with your environment and with other living creatures in the most self-preserving way possible, assuring the continuity of your species and the preservation your habitat.

 

Bruno: No soul, no afterlife, no reincarnation, no supernatural beings?

Friend 2: Probably not, sorry. Only in your imagination and only as long as your brain is alive to create those stuff in your mind if your brain stops functioning, so will the thoughts you had about the meaning of life. 

Bruno: Ok, so it’s all in my mind. How about the power of mind over matter. If it exists in my mind I can create it in the physical world as well, right?

Friend 2: No, not yet at least, but if you learn to make sure you go tell James Randi, he’ll give you a million dollars and you won’t need to work again.

Bruno: 1.000.000 will generate an interest profit of around 4.000 a month. Maybe I should start working on my psychic abilities.

Friend 2: Yeah, good luck with that! 

Bruno: Whatever…

  

looking for some answers

Clerk: What can I get you?

Bruno: Yeah, I’m looking for some answers.

Clerk: Sorry mate, we run out of answers last week, have you tried the shop in Travia?

Bruno: Yeah, I just came from there, out of stock also.

Clerk: How about the one in FH?

Bruno: Called them, they told me to drop by here.

Clerk: Balamb?

Bruno: Closed during winter holidays.

Clerk: Is there something else we can offer you? We have a full stock of questions on sale.

Bruno: Yeah, more questions, just what I need…

Clerk: We could order some answers for you but they may take a while.

Bruno: I don’t have much time.

Clerk: I heard someone in Esthar City had some, but that’s all I know.

Bruno: Esthat, uh?

Clerk: Yeah, not the nicest place to go looking for answers, I know. But it may be your only shot.

Bruno: I see. That’d be everything then, thanks for your help.

Clerk: Yeah, good luck.

Bruno: *sigh* I don’t want to go Esthar…

 

Where are you from?

Friend 2: So.. where are YOU from? 

Bruno: I belong to no country.

Friend 2: How come?

Bruno: I’m not really into countries.

Friend 2: So you’re a global citizen.

Bruno: Exactly.

Friend 2: You’re living the dream, I wish I could be a global citizen as well.

Bruno: You can.

Friend 2: How?

Bruno: Live everywhere, be everywhere. Don’t vote, don’t associate or identify yourself with any country or government.

Friend 2: That’s it?

Bruno: Sure, it’s up to you.


Friend 2: My family and friends will be disappointed though.

Bruno: And you have dark hair.

Friend 2: What?

Bruno: No, I thought we were stating facts that were irrelevant.

Friend 2: It’s not irrelevant, I still care what people think about me.

Bruno: Why would you?

Friend 2: Because I’m not confident enough, I need reassurance and I need to be accepted. 

Bruno: Why wouldn’t they accept you?

Friend 2: Because they love their country very much, so if I tell them I don’t like it, they’ll think I’m not one of them anymore.

Bruno: But you realize, the only reason why they like their countries is that they’ve been told that’s what they should do, and nationalism is just another tool for social control, like religion or advertisement. Since childhood, they will make them sing the national anthem, make them swear loyalty to it, and teach them the history of their country making it look like they are the heroes and everyone else is an enemy. During the world cup or sports events, they have to “support the team” same goes during the wars. People don’t like to think for themselves so they just accept and do anything they are told, so they can fit in.

Friend 2: I want to fit in too.

Bruno: Why would you?

Friend 2: So I don’t need to defend my ideas and I can relax more.

Bruno: Good point.

Friend 2: If you disagree with everyone always, you are always standing in a defensive position. 

Bruno: True.

Friend 2: And you don’t have the ultimate truth. It’s also possible for a person to be compassionate and still feel like they belong to a country, like Dalai Lama, he is the most compassionate person and still feels proud to be Tibetan, while at the same time embracing all the people of the world as his equals.

Bruno: True. So it really doesn’t matter if you have a country or not, what matters is that we are compassionate towards each other. Right?

Friend 2: Right, I’d still like to live everywhere and be a world citizen though.

Bruno: But you don’t need to.

Friend 2: I don’t need to.

Bruno: I need to.

Friend 2: You don’t need to.

Bruno: I don’t need to.

Whatever 4

Friend 2: And why do you care about the revolution so much?

Bruno: Because I want to have a better life, I don’t want to struggle anymore and I don’t want other people to struggle either.

Friend 2: Struggle is good, it gives you some motivation to start your day. If everything was provided already why would we get up in the morning?

Bruno: Because it’s nice getting up, provided you had enough sleep and a relaxing day ahead of you. If the future looks bleak you don’t feel like getting up, but if there’s an exciting day coming then it’s nice!

Friend 2: So, just relaxing, every day?

Bruno: Yeah, we came to this life to enjoy and have a good time, not to struggle to survive and getting stressed out every day.

Friend 2: And how can you be so sure you know what we came to this life for?

Bruno: Because I know everything, oh, perfect and wonderful Bruno.

Friend 2: Haha, you see, you always tell people what to do, but you don’t know why. 

Bruno: Well, I do my best, and I sincerely want to help people, not imposing my lifestyle on them.

Friend 2: I know, but you have to let them make their own mistakes.

Bruno: I should relax more I know, but I always feel like there’s all this pressure on my shoulders to turn everyone into animal-friendly anarchists.

Friend 2: So, just snap out of it.

Bruno: How to?

Friend 2: Weed.

Bruno: Oh, never thought about it, I’ve been wanted to try that for a while, but haven’t met anyone who does it. I mean where do you even get it? Unless you live in the US or Europe you’re pretty much up for a challenge.

Friend 2: Grow it yourself.

Bruno: Yeah, in my shoes. I mean, how do you even get into that stuff?

Friend 2: Google, how to grow weed.

Bruno: And then what, wait 10 years till it grows?

Friend 2: Pretty much.

Bruno: Any plan B?

Friend 2: Meditation.

Bruno: Yeah, I’m working on that, baby steps though.

Friend 2: So work harder.

Bruno: I should, I mean I will, probably.

Friend 2: Grow a beard.

Bruno: What for?

Friend 2: To relax.

Bruno: I can’t relax, when I grow a beard people expect even more from me. They expect me to be wise and knowledgeable and give them advise.

Friend 2: Well it’s not the beard on the outside that counts, it’s the beard on the inside.

Bruno: That’s fromDexterr.

Friend 2: Whatever

Bruno: !?

  

What do you do?

Friend 2: It’s 4.30, what keeps you up this late?

Bruno: It’s not so late.

Friend 2: You don’t have to work tomorrow?

Bruno: No, I don’t.

Friend 2: BTW, what do you do? Are you working or studying?

Bruno: Is there a third choice?

Friend 2: Traveling?

Bruno: How about a fourth option?

Friend 2: No fourth option.

Bruno: Well if you want to classify 6 billion people you’re gonna need more than 3 categories.

Friend 2: Not really, most of them will fit under those 3.

Bruno: 99% maybe, but how about the rest?

Friend 2: Are you the 1%?

Bruno: Yes, but not that 1% you’re thinking of. I’m the 1% inside the 99%

Friend 2: Maybe I shouldn’t try to classify everyone

Bruno: We all make that mistake, when we meet someone we try to fit it in as many categories as we can, so it can fit a familiar pattern in our minds, we are afraid of the unknown so if we analyze it and label it as something we have seen before we can understand it, kind of.

Friend 2: And now it sounds like you are over analyzing things.

Bruno: Probably.

Friend 2: So, if you don’t work, that means you are rich, you are the evil 1%

Bruno: Rich, really? You saw me eating that bread we found on the street this morning.

Friend 2: I thought you just didn’t like people wasting food so you grabbed it and ate it.

Bruno: Yeah, that too. But you’ve seen me cutting my own hair.

Friend 2: Well, you have your own style.

Bruno: You’ve seen me going all the way to the supermarket just to eat the free food samples.


Friend 2: I thought you just liked to try different things.

Bruno: You’ve seen me sleeping in the park and on the beach.

Friend 2: Nature-lover.

Bruno: You’ve seen me grabbing the coins from the fountain.

Friend 2: Actually I have a picture of that.

Bruno: So, how can you say I’m rich?

Friend 2: Because you go to many countries and only rich people can do that.

Bruno: That’s ridiculous.

Friend 2: Well, that’s what I think and that’s what most people think. 

Bruno: But it’s nonsense. You know I’m not rich and if I were you know what I would do with the money.

Friend 2: Buy a pony?

Bruno: No, I would do the same I’m doing now.

Friend 2: Which is…

Bruno: Surviving.

Friend 2: Fair enough.

Bruno: I can live modestly with around 800 dollars a month, that’s like 10.000 a year, I may live another 60 years, so that makes 600.000. I know it’s stupid that we are the only species that has to pay to live on this planet. But if I were rich I would make sure I have the 600.000 to live the rest of my life on this planet and then just give the rest away, so someone else doesn’t need to worry about surviving anymore and can relax and enjoy the rest of their life.

Friend 2: Who will you give it to?

Bruno: To you.

Friend 2: Cheers.

Bruno: No worries.

 

 

Whatever 3

Friend 2:  What, you don’t like pornhub anymore? Better than those weird 4chan torrents.

Bruno: I don’t care about 4chan, why are we even talking about that?

Friend 2: Why not?

Bruno: That’s not real life, you should get out there and meet some people.

Friend 2: No, you should get out and meet more people.

Bruno: I know enough people already.

Friend 2: No one you can really trust.

Bruno: They are still people.

Friend 2: I’d rather have one close friend than 100 acquaintances.

Bruno: Well you can’t always have everything you want.

Friend 2: Why not?

Bruno: Because it doesn’t work like that.

Friend 2: So, how does it work?

Bruno: Well you get what you get, try to work with it and be happy, without expecting anything else.

Friend 2: That’s a rather conformist attitude.

Bruno: I know, but if we don’t learn to appreciate what we have we will always want more and more and it will never be enough.

Friend 2: You’re saying I shouldn’t be so ambitious?

Bruno: Right, ambition leads to greed, greed leads to hate, hate leads to… suffering.

Friend 2: That’s a line from Yoda.

Bruno: Yeah, I replaced fear with greed.

Friend 2: Clever.

Bruno: I’m also very ambitious.

Friend 2: No, you’re not, you don’t care about anything.

Bruno: I care about some stuff.

Friend 2: Yeah? Like what?

Bruno: Like the animals and stuff.

Friend 2: Yeah, the animals that’s it.

Bruno: Well, it’s something.

Friend 2: Not much though.

Bruno: I care about the revolution.

Friend 2: Still, not much.

Bruno: Whatever.

Friend 2: “Whatever”

Whatever 2

Friend 2: Seriously, you are 27 already! You should have achieved some stuff in life, you should know where you are, what you do and what you want to do in the future, you are not 18 anymore.

Bruno: And you are also 27! You should have achieved a state of mind in the one you don’t care about achieving anything anymore. In the one, you are free from your own fears and insecurities. Including the insecurity of not having achieved anything by 27.

Friend 2: No one is free from their own thoughts though, not even me.

Bruno: But some people at least try to break free.

Friend 2: What’s the point of trying?

Bruno: What’s the point of anything? What’s the point of asking ourselves what’s the point of something?

Friend 2: You should at least know what you want to do in to with your life.

Bruno: No one knows what they want to do or what makes them happy, some people think they know and then they do it and it gets boring so they want to do something else instead. But why we have to do something or be something, why can’t be enough that we exist?

Friend 2: Existing is not enough you need to do something else.

Bruno: What if I don’t want to? If I choose just to exist, just to occupy this space I’m sitting at right here and nothing else.

Friend 2: Sitting here is not gonna get you anywhere.

Bruno: That’s the point.

Friend 2: Sitting here is not gonna get you laid.

Bruno: I don’t need that.

Friend 2: Sure you do, all people do.

Bruno: Some people don’t care.

Friend 2: There’s still pornhub though.

Bruno: Whatever.

Friend 2: “Whatever”.

 

Whatever

Bruno: Let’s go on a trip!

 

Friend 2: What, again? A trip of the mind?

Bruno: No, no, this time is for real, let’s go somewhere else, somewhere far away.

 

Friend 2: Like where?

Bruno: Anywhere, doesn’t matter, I feel a bit stuck and it’s time to move forward.

 

Friend 2: But, I have to work.

Bruno: You’ll find a new job later.

 

Friend 2: Later when?

 

Bruno: Later at a subsequent time.

 

Friend 2: What?

Bruno: Later in a few months, or next year, when you run out of money.

 

Friend 2: What about my family and friends?

Bruno: Family will understand, and you’ll make new friends.

 

Friend 2: Family will not understand and I like my friends, I don’t want new friends, I like the ones I have.

Bruno: Oh, come on, look at the horizon, we don’t know what’s out there and that’s exciting, we should find out!

 

Friend 2: How about my girlfriend?

Bruno: She will understand.

 

Friend 2: No, she won’t!

Bruno: Well if you guys are meant to be together, in the end, you will, don’t worry so much now.

 

Friend 2: No way.

Bruno: When was the last time you did something spontaneous? Last time you decided to go on a trip and 2 hours later you were on the road.

 

Friend 2: Ok, let’s say I say yes, where would we go?

 

Bruno: That’s not important, anywhere, it’s about the trip not about the destination. You get to choose, is there somewhere you’ve always wanted to go?

 

Friend 2: Yeah, I’ve always wanted to go to Mongolia.

Bruno: Mongolia it is then!

 

Friend 2: And when are we coming back?

Bruno: Coming what?

 

Friend 2: Coming back.

Bruno: Oh, we’re not.

 

Friend 2: Why not?

Bruno: Because we’ve been here already, it’s time to move forward.

 

Friend 2: And what’s the point of it?

Bruno: No point

Friend 2: Why traveling so much?

Bruno: No reason.

Friend 2: What do we expect to achieve in the end?

Bruno: Nothing.

Friend 2: So, we will just wander around in Mongolia like lost souls, without a goal or an aim.

Bruno: Yeah. Sounds good, don’t you think so?

Friend 2: 26 without a purpose or direction

Bruno: Like that song from Blink.

Friend 2: 27 actually.

Bruno: Whatever.

Friend 2: “Whatever”.

 

Gone traveling

Bruno: I’m going on a trip, would you like to come with me?

You: Where are you going?

Bruno: It’s a trip to a new place, somewhere only I know. But I could show it to you.

You: But I don’t have money, and I need to work.

Bruno: You don’t need money, not much time either, only a few hours.

You: What kind of trip?

Bruno: It’s a trip of self-discovery, a trip of the mind.

You: oh, so it’s not a real trip…

Bruno: Yes it is, it’s a real trip of the imagination.

You: Fake trip.

Bruno: Not fake and not real either, it is what it is.

You: No, I don’t want to go.

Bruno:  Ok, so no trip.

You: Ok, I go.

Bruno: Ok, first things first, find an empty, dark and quiet room to relax your mind, turn off the lights, phone, fire alarm and…

You: Fire alarm? Why do I need to turn off the fire alarm?

Bruno: So we won’t get disturbed in case of a fire or a drill.

You: I’m not gonna turn it off, what are the chances of that happening?

Bruno: Not many, but we can’t take any chances.

You: Oh, it’s like inception

Bruno: Exactly, great movie, right?

You: It was alright..

Living like a boss (At Incheon airport)

In this post, Bruno recalls a dialogue that may or may have not taken place at Incheon Airport in Seoul somewhere around 2.45am.

Bruno: So, what’s up with that security guard?

Old weedy guy: Which security guard?

Bruno: Oh, come on! you live at the airport too, right?

Old weedy guy: No way, what makes you think that?

Bruno: I saw you washing your underwear on the toilet sink this morning.

Old weedy guy: That one wasn’t me.

Bruno: Yes, it was you, and I saw you scavenging leftovers from the fast food restaurants.

Old weedy guy: That one wasn’t me either.

Bruno: Yeah it was, and just now the security guard went crazy because you were molesting the airport staff.

Old weedy guy: Not molesting, just talking and that wasn’t me either.

Bruno: So, you’re in denial.

Old weedy guy: Ok, you got me, I’m going through some rough times and I temporarily happen to be living at the airport, so what? It can happen to anyone.

Bruno: Yeah, it’s actually pretty cool, isn’t it? you get free food, no need to pay rent or spend any money, there’s TV, music, internet, clan toilets, and it’s not cold like outside.

Old weedy guy: I used to have a real job you know, but somewhere along the way I realized i wasn’t meant to follow orders.

Bruno: you mean orders from your boss?

Old weedy guy: Exactly. Why do I have to follow orders? I don’t understand. I don’t want to do that… So I woke up one morning, turned off the alarm and said: “fuck it, I’m moving to Incheon International Airport”. I’m my own boss here, don’t need to take orders from anyone and can do whatever I want.

Bruno: How about that security guard? just now he told you to go away and you left.

Old weedy guy: Yeah, he’s just having a bad day today.

Bruno: “Fuck it, I’m moving to the airport”. You know I really like that phrase, it has a nice ring to it!

Old weedy guy: It does actually.

 

A place to call home

Friend 1: Don’t you ever miss home?

Bruno: I don’t know, define home.

Friend 1: Well, the place you grew up, or where your parents are.

Bruno: But the place I grew up or where my parents are never really felt like home, so why should I call it home?

Friend 1: Well, because that’s what most people call home.

Bruno: But that would be living in the past, and I have the theory that the past doesn’t really exist, its fake, just an illusion we create with our imagination and it exists only in our minds, same as the future.
There’s just here and now instead, so home is this place I’m staying at now, why would I miss it if I’m already here?

Friend 1: But most people feel like they need to belong somewhere and have somewhere to come back to, don’t you feel like that sometimes? Don’t you need a place to reminisce?

Bruno: That doesn’t make much sense, why would I want to belong somewhere if I can belong everywhere instead.

Friend 1: If you belong everywhere, the place you grew up won’t feel special anymore.

Bruno: True, but you can make every place feel special, it’s up to us what we consider special or not.

Friend 1: But most people need a place to call home.

Bruno: So, if most people eat horse dung, I should eat it as well, just because everyone else does?

Friend 1: Well, yeah, that’s why we usually do stuff, because everyone else does it, and that’s how we’ve been doing it for centuries.

Bruno: I can understand that, customs, rituals, traditions, do we really need that?

Friend 1: Yes

Bruno: What for?

Friend 1: To have a sense of identity, a sense of belonging to a place and to a culture.

Bruno: But the outcome of having a sense of belonging to a place and a culture will be that you will not be allowed to see other people who belong to different cultures than yours as equal to you.
Countries, religions, ethnicities, social status and position will only prevent you from seeing that actually, we are all the same everywhere.
And will make you justify acts of violence against people of the “different culture” such as terrorism, exploitation, racism, just because they are “different”.

Friend 1: Ok, I see where you’re getting at, is this another government conspiracy to keep us on a tight leash and justify whatever acts of violence they decide to engage on?

Bruno: Not really, before we made up the nation states, like 200 years ago, we always swore loyalty to some king, god or emperor. Basically any excuse we can come up with to kill one another and take over our land and resources because we didn’t know anything better, now we do.

Friend 1: Yes, what is that? Some utopian future where we all love each other and are kind to each other?

Bruno: Yes.

Friend 1: Cool.

Intro

You: Hey Bruno, how are you?  How is Korea?

Me: Hey! Yeah, not bad. korea’s awesome!

You: so… what’s up with this, you decided to write a blog? How come?

Me: well, It often happens that I meet someone new and after we talk for a while, they ask me if I have a blog or I write about travels or about me, a diary or something, and usually my answer would go something like:

  -“not interested, have no time”

 -“my life is quite boring actually, I just play video games all day”

-“can’t read, I’m illiterate” (then ask for some spare change)

-“I’m not good at writing, wouldn’t know what to write about”

-“who would care about my life” and then they say -“I would care, that’s why I’m asking you, duh!”

And they have a point of course, but I think I wouldn’t read about someone like me, so why would they?

Lately, though many people who read my comments in forums or groups said I had a gift for writing and I should work on it, so I decided to give it a try.

You: cool! And what do expect to get out of it?

Me: Maybe something like a therapy– to let things out, you know, so new things can come in–try to take an objective look at my life–self-criticism (hopefully)—maybe learn to laugh at myself a bit more—kill some time—improve writing/editing skills—avoid responsibilities (like I needed an excuse for that!) and maybe even get to know myself a bit better.

You: What is a morphing jar?

Me: a card in yu-gi-oh

You: What is yu-gi-oh?

Me:  an anime, trading card game, video game

You: what’s an “anime”???

Me: Japanese cartoon, like Pokemon.

You: oh, you’re a bit of a geek aren’t you?

Me: well… a bit.

 

You: are you gonna write about Pokemon on your blog?

 

Me: probably yes, sometimes, but not just about Pokemon.

You: are you gonna write about your sex life?

Me: probably not.

You: why not? Are you gay?

Me: what??? No, what makes you think that?

You: well, every time I see you, you are wearing pink, giggling, talking and acting like a girl. You don’t like sports, you hang out with girls, wear accessories, you like pop music and I think last week you were wearing makeup.

Me:  Makeup? No way!

You: ok, I made the last one up, but the other ones are true.

Me: I get that a lot actually, but maybe I’m confident enough about my sexuality that I don’t need to play by society standards or stereotypes and I can just do whatever I want.

You: ..or maybe you’re gay.

Me: maybe.

Note: Morphing Jar was the name chosen when I decided to write, but then I changed it for Bruno’s public diary, anyone knows why?